I'm really feeling like I want to blog tonight, but I have no idea on what subject or what about, which is frustrating as there are a number of topics and amusing and/or interesting anecdotal incidents that have happened in my life over the last few weeks that I could write a witty or interesting blog post about. These could range from my creative splurge - a complete out pour of creative ideas that had me up writing until two in the morning - , my worst nightmare of getting lost in a large field, or my nerves and excitement about taking my first class next week.
All of these wonderful and possibly interesting posts that could simply spill out of me at any moment as I log onto my blog to write, but now that I'm here I find that there's nothing that wants to come out. I wonder if it's the bottle of red wine I've consumed this afternoon/evening that seems to have numbed my brain and dumbed my senses; we can definitely deduce that I'm in a comfortably numb state, which I think is important right now as I've been deserted by everyone in the house, and the impending doom that a firework is set to crash through my window at any moment as the kids outside 'play' at setting them off on a busy terraced street, fills me with apprehension. I'm thankful then that the bottle of red seems to have taken the edge off this fear and coupled with the jovial face of Michael McIntyre I feel that I'm in much more of a subdued state and ready to deal with any highly dangerous situation in an action-hero, slow-mo type sequence.
Fear aside, there are some benefits I suppose to having the house to myself: I have complete control of the TV, I don't need to do my washing up straight away because there aren't another four people needing to use the kitchen, I can fart when and where I want, hell I could even stroll around the house naked and not need to worry a jot because I'm here on my own and it's my prerogative! For all you know maybe I am indeed nude right now, jotting down all these red wine induced thoughts and enjoying the liberties of being alone...
Luckily for you though, and for the housemate I currently hear unlocking the deadlock of the door, that I am indeed clothed. Long gone are my days of public nudity - or at least for now - and so any rude inferences you may think you have gleamed about me from this post, you can now delete from your memory.
Ahh the joy of random red wine ramblings, and with that I bid ye good night!
RoseC -x-
Sunday, 6 November 2011
Wednesday, 19 October 2011
Promo
While the news regales us with depressing facts and figures about unemployment being at an all time high, and how it's nigh on impossible for 18-25 year olds to find a job, I've been going against all the statistics and social struggles by landing myself a promotion in the school. Hurrah!
The interview took place yesterday and while the tutor group I support were going through a powerpoint with their form teacher about the diabolical state of employment for young people, and I had to watch their little faces drop and hear questions from little Johnny like, "So will I never get a job even though I work hard at school?" and hoping they won't be fucked like my generation is, I came to appreciate the fact that I even have a job at the moment. Even though it's not always been ideal, I'm lucky enough to be in full-time employment, and yesterday I was even being offered the rare opportunity to progress in my work.
The pressure was on though as I was the only person to be interviewing at the time. The vacancy was initially advertised internally and I was the only existing member of staff to apply. On one had, this might be great because you know you've not got any competition, but on the other hand it's intimidating because you're essentially only up against yourself, so if I didn't get the job it would come down to the fact that I was just shit and there could be no excuse of "that person was better or more qualified than me".
Luckily though the latter didn't happen and I have now officially gone from being a Teaching Assistant to a Higher Learning Teaching Assistant for English. "Ooohh, sounds fancy and full of responsibility," you may say, and you'd be right. I now get to deliver lessons and actually teach small groups of students in withdrawal classes. I'll have to plan the lesson, think of innovative and engaging ways to teach Shakespeare and the like, and then actually full on educate young people. That's pretty exciting, and the best bit is I'll be getting my own classroom and I'll get to write on the whiteboard as much as I want!!!
To me being able to write on a board is the most exciting thing, because it means you're really, actually a teacher. It's a privilege that only teacher-type people get to do. When I was growing up and I used to play 'school' with my imaginary friends (don't judge me, I'm not mad) then there would always be a heavy focus on doing lots, and lots, and lots, and lots of writing on the board, which back then was plenty of A4 bits of paper blu-tacked to my wardrobe doors.
Later, when I got to go into the primary school my Dad was headteacher of, I would indulge my urge of white board writing by going into the classrooms, finding a board marker and pretending to take a lesson, again with lots and lots of white board writing. Sometimes I'd even ask my Dad's colleagues if I could leave maths questions on the board for the kids to do on Monday morning. I should emphasise at this point that I too was still at primary school. It's not like I was 20-something and getting my kicks from going into an empty school at the weekends, pretending to teach make-believe classes and stuff. That would be crazy.
Writing on the board definitely gives a sense of authority in the classroom and that if you write something on the board it must mean it's a really important point to have made it onto the board. Obviously there are other really important things I'll need to do when teaching a lesson as a HLTA, like making sure the kids understand the work they're doing, keeping them motivated, planning interesting activities, but if I'm honest the kid in me will be concerned most about how good my handwriting looks on the board and getting an array of colourful board markers for every occasion!
RoseC -x-
The interview took place yesterday and while the tutor group I support were going through a powerpoint with their form teacher about the diabolical state of employment for young people, and I had to watch their little faces drop and hear questions from little Johnny like, "So will I never get a job even though I work hard at school?" and hoping they won't be fucked like my generation is, I came to appreciate the fact that I even have a job at the moment. Even though it's not always been ideal, I'm lucky enough to be in full-time employment, and yesterday I was even being offered the rare opportunity to progress in my work.
The pressure was on though as I was the only person to be interviewing at the time. The vacancy was initially advertised internally and I was the only existing member of staff to apply. On one had, this might be great because you know you've not got any competition, but on the other hand it's intimidating because you're essentially only up against yourself, so if I didn't get the job it would come down to the fact that I was just shit and there could be no excuse of "that person was better or more qualified than me".
Luckily though the latter didn't happen and I have now officially gone from being a Teaching Assistant to a Higher Learning Teaching Assistant for English. "Ooohh, sounds fancy and full of responsibility," you may say, and you'd be right. I now get to deliver lessons and actually teach small groups of students in withdrawal classes. I'll have to plan the lesson, think of innovative and engaging ways to teach Shakespeare and the like, and then actually full on educate young people. That's pretty exciting, and the best bit is I'll be getting my own classroom and I'll get to write on the whiteboard as much as I want!!!
To me being able to write on a board is the most exciting thing, because it means you're really, actually a teacher. It's a privilege that only teacher-type people get to do. When I was growing up and I used to play 'school' with my imaginary friends (don't judge me, I'm not mad) then there would always be a heavy focus on doing lots, and lots, and lots, and lots of writing on the board, which back then was plenty of A4 bits of paper blu-tacked to my wardrobe doors.
Later, when I got to go into the primary school my Dad was headteacher of, I would indulge my urge of white board writing by going into the classrooms, finding a board marker and pretending to take a lesson, again with lots and lots of white board writing. Sometimes I'd even ask my Dad's colleagues if I could leave maths questions on the board for the kids to do on Monday morning. I should emphasise at this point that I too was still at primary school. It's not like I was 20-something and getting my kicks from going into an empty school at the weekends, pretending to teach make-believe classes and stuff. That would be crazy.
Writing on the board definitely gives a sense of authority in the classroom and that if you write something on the board it must mean it's a really important point to have made it onto the board. Obviously there are other really important things I'll need to do when teaching a lesson as a HLTA, like making sure the kids understand the work they're doing, keeping them motivated, planning interesting activities, but if I'm honest the kid in me will be concerned most about how good my handwriting looks on the board and getting an array of colourful board markers for every occasion!
RoseC -x-
Wednesday, 12 October 2011
Moral dilemmas
Ok, so there are going to be a few disturbing topics discussed here this evening. If you're of a sensitive nature or easily enraged then I suggest you stop reading now. I'll give you a few dots to represent a 'moment' for you to decide that.
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Lovely, so if you've reached the bottom of the dots you've decided to stay with me. Well done and may I commend you on your bravery because some of what I'm about to say ain't gonna be pretty and to be fair it's actually taking a lot of courage for me to go into this as I could loose a lot of friends. I'm just going to come out and say it and I can only hope that you don't judge me too harshly...
Last night I watched Katie Price's, Signed by Katie, and sort of enjoyed it.
Wow, I can see the FaceBook friend count going down already! Jokes...
Really though, having this programme on my TV is my first moral dilemma of the evening. I can't stand shows that objectify people in a shallow, demeaning way and so I'm horrified that I sat and watched it. I get angry and often shout at the TV at shows like Next Top Model, X-Factor or Paris Hilton's Best Friend (or whatever it was called) because all of those shows objectify (usually) women and is basically people - not usually the brightest of people - standing in front of strangers and allowing the 'panel' to judge them on looks and appearances alone, and continue to stand there and take the barrage of abuse from people who, if we're honest, are just as fame hungry and probably as insecure as the 'contestants' they're 'judging'.
To briefly fill you in on the premise of the show and to put it in all it's shallow context, it's basically Katie (Jordan) Price and two of her cronies travelling around the country, setting up in shopping centres (hmm, classy) and getting men and women to strut out in front of them in swimwear and then the three witches decide on looks and 1 minute conversation if this person is marketable and can make KP more money and if she thinks they can then they get put through to Boot Camp. Now there's a formula that sounds familiar.
At least it doesn't dress it up and is honest enough to admit that Jordan is only after money and the limelight, but has been disguised - in my opinion - to look like she's passing on all of her "worldly business woman" advice. It's fine that some of you may argue she's a real business woman that's built her 'empire' on not a lot other than appearance and salacious stories for gossip mags. Good for her. Problem now is that she's past it. We're fed up of her, her career is pretty much baron and so now she's trying to latch on to someone else, younger, better looking, less botoxed (perhaps) and I'm sure preferably less intelligent so all those "marketable" qualities can line her pockets slightly thicker than her own. Ahh the selfishness of show business.
So anyway, I watched this half-hour debacle, mouth agape as I just couldn't believe some of the comments that the less than perfect panel were imparting on people. Gems such as, "you walk like a brickie" or implying not too subtly to one bloke that he's not got a pretty face and there were few other ways to make him successful. Happy, feel-good TV right?
PAH!
The fact I was watching this was only moral dilemma number one. The second problem came during the show when two, young (but I'm assuming over 18) twin sisters rocked up. Now, I know that there may be some people who read this blog, that I used to work with, that may not agree in any way, shape or form with the issue I'm about to raise. And that's fine, because I know you're all really dirty old men ;-)
My problem is that as soon as these twin sisters turned up, and they were very cute and pretty, the faces of KP and her henchmen lit up. "Wow I can really see lots of potential and things I could do with you," exclaimed Katie (or something to that effect - didn't have dictaphone to hand at the time). The twins seemed happy too as they screeched, "we want to be you Katie!!!" Each to their own, but the creepy bit was when they both came out in matching, sexy, underwear and just how that would be marketable doesn't take much imagination.
Many blokes, I'm sure would lap that stuff up and I'm sure there have been plenty of sets of twins in adult magazines, but to me I think it's a little bit incestuous and very wrong. My skin crawled at the thought of these girls possibly doing topless shoots - of which there's every possibility considering Jordan's background - with each other, looking alluring and sexy with their come to bed eyes and the suggestion of a menage a trios.
Really, are these girls comfortable with the idea of having sex with each other? I'm not saying they will, it's the audience's fantasy that is being satisfied, but if I had a twin sister there wouldn't be any monetary figure in the world that would persuade me to appear as if I have, or would ever, have a sexual relationship with my sibling.
Overall we can surmise it was an uncomfortable half hour viewing and no matter how much curiosity I have to see how the fame game will play out for these poor, unfortunate souls, I won't be tuning in.
RoseC -x-
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Lovely, so if you've reached the bottom of the dots you've decided to stay with me. Well done and may I commend you on your bravery because some of what I'm about to say ain't gonna be pretty and to be fair it's actually taking a lot of courage for me to go into this as I could loose a lot of friends. I'm just going to come out and say it and I can only hope that you don't judge me too harshly...
Last night I watched Katie Price's, Signed by Katie, and sort of enjoyed it.
Wow, I can see the FaceBook friend count going down already! Jokes...
Really though, having this programme on my TV is my first moral dilemma of the evening. I can't stand shows that objectify people in a shallow, demeaning way and so I'm horrified that I sat and watched it. I get angry and often shout at the TV at shows like Next Top Model, X-Factor or Paris Hilton's Best Friend (or whatever it was called) because all of those shows objectify (usually) women and is basically people - not usually the brightest of people - standing in front of strangers and allowing the 'panel' to judge them on looks and appearances alone, and continue to stand there and take the barrage of abuse from people who, if we're honest, are just as fame hungry and probably as insecure as the 'contestants' they're 'judging'.
To briefly fill you in on the premise of the show and to put it in all it's shallow context, it's basically Katie (Jordan) Price and two of her cronies travelling around the country, setting up in shopping centres (hmm, classy) and getting men and women to strut out in front of them in swimwear and then the three witches decide on looks and 1 minute conversation if this person is marketable and can make KP more money and if she thinks they can then they get put through to Boot Camp. Now there's a formula that sounds familiar.
At least it doesn't dress it up and is honest enough to admit that Jordan is only after money and the limelight, but has been disguised - in my opinion - to look like she's passing on all of her "worldly business woman" advice. It's fine that some of you may argue she's a real business woman that's built her 'empire' on not a lot other than appearance and salacious stories for gossip mags. Good for her. Problem now is that she's past it. We're fed up of her, her career is pretty much baron and so now she's trying to latch on to someone else, younger, better looking, less botoxed (perhaps) and I'm sure preferably less intelligent so all those "marketable" qualities can line her pockets slightly thicker than her own. Ahh the selfishness of show business.
So anyway, I watched this half-hour debacle, mouth agape as I just couldn't believe some of the comments that the less than perfect panel were imparting on people. Gems such as, "you walk like a brickie" or implying not too subtly to one bloke that he's not got a pretty face and there were few other ways to make him successful. Happy, feel-good TV right?
PAH!
The fact I was watching this was only moral dilemma number one. The second problem came during the show when two, young (but I'm assuming over 18) twin sisters rocked up. Now, I know that there may be some people who read this blog, that I used to work with, that may not agree in any way, shape or form with the issue I'm about to raise. And that's fine, because I know you're all really dirty old men ;-)
My problem is that as soon as these twin sisters turned up, and they were very cute and pretty, the faces of KP and her henchmen lit up. "Wow I can really see lots of potential and things I could do with you," exclaimed Katie (or something to that effect - didn't have dictaphone to hand at the time). The twins seemed happy too as they screeched, "we want to be you Katie!!!" Each to their own, but the creepy bit was when they both came out in matching, sexy, underwear and just how that would be marketable doesn't take much imagination.
Many blokes, I'm sure would lap that stuff up and I'm sure there have been plenty of sets of twins in adult magazines, but to me I think it's a little bit incestuous and very wrong. My skin crawled at the thought of these girls possibly doing topless shoots - of which there's every possibility considering Jordan's background - with each other, looking alluring and sexy with their come to bed eyes and the suggestion of a menage a trios.
Really, are these girls comfortable with the idea of having sex with each other? I'm not saying they will, it's the audience's fantasy that is being satisfied, but if I had a twin sister there wouldn't be any monetary figure in the world that would persuade me to appear as if I have, or would ever, have a sexual relationship with my sibling.
Overall we can surmise it was an uncomfortable half hour viewing and no matter how much curiosity I have to see how the fame game will play out for these poor, unfortunate souls, I won't be tuning in.
RoseC -x-
Thursday, 6 October 2011
From within a panda hat
I'm feeling far too excitable for a Thursday night, especially as there hasn't been any alcohol consumed. After my productive day yesterday I feel like I should be on a roll on the job front and feel all positive and upbeat about it.
Well hello happiness. I've not seen you for a while.
I'm feeling so chipper that I've even donned my happy panda hat - a birthday gift from a friend that has successfully managed to turn me into the kind of person I once despised. Seeing people walk down the streets in stupid animal hats made me tut and shake my head, but now I have one of my own I heart it. Oh how I'm so easily swayed.
Anyway, I digress. So I had a good day at work (bar a nose bleed first lesson, a remnant of all the nose blowing I did yesterday. Gross) and came home full of beans ready to jump on some more applications. After scouring all the lovely sites I signed up to it quickly became apparent that I have actually applied for all the suitable jobs that I can apply for right now. How frustrating.
I've been thinking that I'd like to set myself a target of applying for at least two jobs a night. Is that unrealistic? As there wasn't anything new to apply for this evening I looked back over the jobs that didn't first grab my attention on yesterday's look. So there's one that I'm going to go for that's writing for free, but getting some of my writing published on the web still. Good for the portfolio and christ my imagination is crying out for something to get my teeth into. Also after looking at the site it reminds me a lot of the university magazine that we put together for our third year project; a slightly obscured view of the world from a young persons point of view (and I do consider myself a young person and I have a railcard to prove it).
The other is a job as an entertainment writer for a well known news site. Upon second glance it looks like a really good opportunity: working for a large interweb news site, based in London and the salary isn't too bad. There are also worse topics to write on than entertainment, so it's quite an eye catcher, especially as everyone thinks writing about the world of celebrity is just as glamorous as being in that world yourself. It's not, obviously, but in the world of young, upstart journos like myself getting a spot on an entertainment desk is a coveted position.
"So, obviously Rose you've put your application in for such a fab sounding job?"
Err, well no, actually I didn't. Or haven't. There's one little thing holding me back. The application requests that along with your CV and examples of your work, you also write an 800 word feature on the turbulent year that Cheryl Cole has had. Hmm. Now, in fairness I have been chewing it over all today as to what angle I might take. Obviously I wouldn't go with the, "poor Chezza she's been shit on again which she totes doesn't deserve because she's the most amazing woman ever, with amazing L'Oreal hair, and an awesome singing voice that it doesn't matter she's not released anything in the last year and why is everyone always so horrible JUST LEAVE HER ALONE!! SHE JUST HAVING A TOUGH TIME OKAY?!?!"
Yeah, basically I'm not going to kiss any celebs arse. Let alone hers. I'm not really a fan of her music. I really dislike X-Factor (to the point housemates throw me out of the living room when it's on because I can't keep my mouth shut) and I don't care whether she gets back with Ashley or not. They sound as bad as each other. Then there's the terrible hairspray advert where she tries to do every do, but ends up looking more trashy than classy. I was sick to the back teeth too, hearing all her whinging and moaning about getting a place on American X-Factor. Being promised it, and then dropped like a cold bag of sick by Cowell only to be offered the presenters job, but she wasn't even sure of that as she came up against the might that is Steve Jones - ya'know, the Welsh T4 presenter chap - and I can't imagine he's better know than Cheryl, especially as she's buddies with Will.I.Am. Ouch. Yep, not quite as 'big' as you first though are you Chezza?....Awkward.....
Either way we can surmise that her year has indeed been turbulently shit to the point that it's now being banded around in the weeklies that she has to "relaunch herself" because her career is in such tatters. Bull shit, she's still on the covers of most the trash mags and raking it in from one deal or another.
*Sigh* I think what we can also surmise from these last couple of paragraphs is that I have very little sympathy with celebs and therefore I conclude that the coveted role of entertainment writer should go to someone else. If I think trying to empathise with Cheryl Cole is hard then we can safely say that feeling sorry for and going through all the boos and hoos with the likes of TOWIE or Made in Chelsea 'celebs', or worse having to write positively about Justin 'fuckwit' Beiber, would actually kill me. My boyfriend would definitely never look me in the eye again and I can't say I'd blame him.
It's days like today when I think about what I can write, that really makes me miss the world of filth. Now that I could do.
RoseC -x-
Well hello happiness. I've not seen you for a while.
I'm feeling so chipper that I've even donned my happy panda hat - a birthday gift from a friend that has successfully managed to turn me into the kind of person I once despised. Seeing people walk down the streets in stupid animal hats made me tut and shake my head, but now I have one of my own I heart it. Oh how I'm so easily swayed.
Anyway, I digress. So I had a good day at work (bar a nose bleed first lesson, a remnant of all the nose blowing I did yesterday. Gross) and came home full of beans ready to jump on some more applications. After scouring all the lovely sites I signed up to it quickly became apparent that I have actually applied for all the suitable jobs that I can apply for right now. How frustrating.
I've been thinking that I'd like to set myself a target of applying for at least two jobs a night. Is that unrealistic? As there wasn't anything new to apply for this evening I looked back over the jobs that didn't first grab my attention on yesterday's look. So there's one that I'm going to go for that's writing for free, but getting some of my writing published on the web still. Good for the portfolio and christ my imagination is crying out for something to get my teeth into. Also after looking at the site it reminds me a lot of the university magazine that we put together for our third year project; a slightly obscured view of the world from a young persons point of view (and I do consider myself a young person and I have a railcard to prove it).
The other is a job as an entertainment writer for a well known news site. Upon second glance it looks like a really good opportunity: working for a large interweb news site, based in London and the salary isn't too bad. There are also worse topics to write on than entertainment, so it's quite an eye catcher, especially as everyone thinks writing about the world of celebrity is just as glamorous as being in that world yourself. It's not, obviously, but in the world of young, upstart journos like myself getting a spot on an entertainment desk is a coveted position.
"So, obviously Rose you've put your application in for such a fab sounding job?"
Err, well no, actually I didn't. Or haven't. There's one little thing holding me back. The application requests that along with your CV and examples of your work, you also write an 800 word feature on the turbulent year that Cheryl Cole has had. Hmm. Now, in fairness I have been chewing it over all today as to what angle I might take. Obviously I wouldn't go with the, "poor Chezza she's been shit on again which she totes doesn't deserve because she's the most amazing woman ever, with amazing L'Oreal hair, and an awesome singing voice that it doesn't matter she's not released anything in the last year and why is everyone always so horrible JUST LEAVE HER ALONE!! SHE JUST HAVING A TOUGH TIME OKAY?!?!"
Yeah, basically I'm not going to kiss any celebs arse. Let alone hers. I'm not really a fan of her music. I really dislike X-Factor (to the point housemates throw me out of the living room when it's on because I can't keep my mouth shut) and I don't care whether she gets back with Ashley or not. They sound as bad as each other. Then there's the terrible hairspray advert where she tries to do every do, but ends up looking more trashy than classy. I was sick to the back teeth too, hearing all her whinging and moaning about getting a place on American X-Factor. Being promised it, and then dropped like a cold bag of sick by Cowell only to be offered the presenters job, but she wasn't even sure of that as she came up against the might that is Steve Jones - ya'know, the Welsh T4 presenter chap - and I can't imagine he's better know than Cheryl, especially as she's buddies with Will.I.Am. Ouch. Yep, not quite as 'big' as you first though are you Chezza?....Awkward.....
Either way we can surmise that her year has indeed been turbulently shit to the point that it's now being banded around in the weeklies that she has to "relaunch herself" because her career is in such tatters. Bull shit, she's still on the covers of most the trash mags and raking it in from one deal or another.
*Sigh* I think what we can also surmise from these last couple of paragraphs is that I have very little sympathy with celebs and therefore I conclude that the coveted role of entertainment writer should go to someone else. If I think trying to empathise with Cheryl Cole is hard then we can safely say that feeling sorry for and going through all the boos and hoos with the likes of TOWIE or Made in Chelsea 'celebs', or worse having to write positively about Justin 'fuckwit' Beiber, would actually kill me. My boyfriend would definitely never look me in the eye again and I can't say I'd blame him.
It's days like today when I think about what I can write, that really makes me miss the world of filth. Now that I could do.
RoseC -x-
Wednesday, 5 October 2011
Being oddly productive
I'm ill. I've got this stupid cold, sore throat bug that seems to have been going around school over the last week or so and had so far avoided it. I realised I'd been caught by this bug yesterday morning when I woke up and felt like my throat was on fire. The rest of me was alright though so I still went to work and waged war with this bug. Determined not to let it win I fought it (I think gallantly) with cough medicine, pain killers and shit loads of tissue, but when I woke up this morning with my sinuses throbbing and my voice box sounding like it had been replaced with that of a frog's and said frog was continually striking matches against my throat every time I tried to talk (as in it really hurt), I admitted defeat to the bug.
The reaction from work when I called in was quite astonishing too, as I got a, "Bloody hell Rose you sound rough as." That's not always what an ill person wants to hear because it just makes you feel more pity for yourself. I know I'm ill. I can feel that I'm ill. Please lets not be more dramatic than we need to be about this.
It's an odd ill too because it's literally all in my head. No, I don't mean that I'm crazy and imagining I'm sick, I mean it's all in my throat and nose, so the rest of me feels fine, I just didn't think it would be a good idea to go into school and cough all over the little darlings. It's tough enough as a TA to get the kids to listen to you on a normal day, to go in there diseased with no voice means that you would be ripped limb from limb like a diseased invalid and they'd hold you responsible the next time they get ill even if it's a month down the road. Kids never forget and it's just not worth the humiliation.
Having made my executive, and considerate/caring, decision to stay away from school today, but not feeling so ill that I'm bed ridden, rather than sit on the sofa and numb my brain with insufferable daytime TV, I've put my day to good use. Since having a bit of time off from the ruthless world of job searching and having turned 25, I am now ready to approach the search once more, trawl the job sites and write the endless number of covering letters to pimp myself out with a renewed enthusiasm. I've even joined a few recruitment sites to help me find the perfect media job. I like the idea of having little career pixies dashing around trying to find your ideal job so they can earn their commission, which in the job pixie's case would be a new pair of hip 'n' trendy pixie boots or a new hat. And when they found the right career for dithering numpties like myself that haven't had any career direction for months on end, they would do little star jumps of joy and cheer and toot miniature party blowers.
Hmm, perhaps the illness has gone to my head in more mental ways than I first thought....
Either way, I know I've not moved hugely on from square one in regards to getting myself back into the media sphere, but at least now I'm not feeling all agitated and grumpy about doing it. Perhaps I was spurred on by an email I received the other week from a job I'd applied for as a Junior Writer. Granted, it was a bit odd and there were mixed emotions because I got turned down for this job that I really wanted so was a bit disappointed, but unlike many media companies, this one actually took the time to get back to me and I found that refreshing and positive. Also they said:
'I would, however, like to take a moment to let you know you were one of those we considered to be in the small top band of submissions.'
See, that's nice. I was in the "small top band" and so that means that I'm not as shit as I was beginning to think I might be! Even though it was a rejection email there was still something positive in there that I've since found very motivational in my quest of finding another job. Not hearing back from places for months on end is fucking demoralising, so even this little pick me up has set me back on the right track...I hope.
Nice to end on a positive note I think. Apart from the being ill bit of course. Oh and I managed to slice the top of my finger open today while cutting a bagel. I feel there's a lesson to be learnt here: that cutting a bagel and trying to sneeze at the same time doesn't work!
Till next time,
RoseC -x-
The reaction from work when I called in was quite astonishing too, as I got a, "Bloody hell Rose you sound rough as." That's not always what an ill person wants to hear because it just makes you feel more pity for yourself. I know I'm ill. I can feel that I'm ill. Please lets not be more dramatic than we need to be about this.
It's an odd ill too because it's literally all in my head. No, I don't mean that I'm crazy and imagining I'm sick, I mean it's all in my throat and nose, so the rest of me feels fine, I just didn't think it would be a good idea to go into school and cough all over the little darlings. It's tough enough as a TA to get the kids to listen to you on a normal day, to go in there diseased with no voice means that you would be ripped limb from limb like a diseased invalid and they'd hold you responsible the next time they get ill even if it's a month down the road. Kids never forget and it's just not worth the humiliation.
Having made my executive, and considerate/caring, decision to stay away from school today, but not feeling so ill that I'm bed ridden, rather than sit on the sofa and numb my brain with insufferable daytime TV, I've put my day to good use. Since having a bit of time off from the ruthless world of job searching and having turned 25, I am now ready to approach the search once more, trawl the job sites and write the endless number of covering letters to pimp myself out with a renewed enthusiasm. I've even joined a few recruitment sites to help me find the perfect media job. I like the idea of having little career pixies dashing around trying to find your ideal job so they can earn their commission, which in the job pixie's case would be a new pair of hip 'n' trendy pixie boots or a new hat. And when they found the right career for dithering numpties like myself that haven't had any career direction for months on end, they would do little star jumps of joy and cheer and toot miniature party blowers.
Hmm, perhaps the illness has gone to my head in more mental ways than I first thought....
Either way, I know I've not moved hugely on from square one in regards to getting myself back into the media sphere, but at least now I'm not feeling all agitated and grumpy about doing it. Perhaps I was spurred on by an email I received the other week from a job I'd applied for as a Junior Writer. Granted, it was a bit odd and there were mixed emotions because I got turned down for this job that I really wanted so was a bit disappointed, but unlike many media companies, this one actually took the time to get back to me and I found that refreshing and positive. Also they said:
'I would, however, like to take a moment to let you know you were one of those we considered to be in the small top band of submissions.'
See, that's nice. I was in the "small top band" and so that means that I'm not as shit as I was beginning to think I might be! Even though it was a rejection email there was still something positive in there that I've since found very motivational in my quest of finding another job. Not hearing back from places for months on end is fucking demoralising, so even this little pick me up has set me back on the right track...I hope.
Nice to end on a positive note I think. Apart from the being ill bit of course. Oh and I managed to slice the top of my finger open today while cutting a bagel. I feel there's a lesson to be learnt here: that cutting a bagel and trying to sneeze at the same time doesn't work!
Till next time,
RoseC -x-
Tuesday, 20 September 2011
The Three Week Itch
After a lovely, leisurely, adventure filled six weeks off work at the school, I'm now back within its gates and settling into my new timetable, getting to know new students and reacquainting myself with the ones that have returned. Three weeks down the line and it's already starting to feel like I've been there for a whole term. I know I'm not the only member of staff to be feeling that this week as the school settles into its routines and the once sweet, fresh faced year seven's really start to find their feet and show their slightly more confident - and sometimes cocky- colours.
The honeymoon period is definitely over and I've resigned myself to the fact that although this job was supposed to be a stop gap it's actually looking like I'll be there longer than originally expected. I mean I'm starting two after school clubs for Christ sake! For anyone that works outside of education let me tell you: basically once you're put forward for extra curricular groups that's it - you're officially part of the fixtures and fittings because you're deemed reliable and responsible enough to do it, organise it and run it and they don't expect you to bolt anytime soon.
I'm emotionally confused about how I actually feel about all this.
On the one hand I actually quite enjoy my job slightly more than I let on. I like being able to help students in their learning, I enjoy and get a great sense of achievement when they finally understand something that was before a complete mystery. When all is said and done, even though it's hard work sometimes it's very rewarding.
The other hand however has it's fingers slightly more in touch with reality and is screaming at me that I can't stay in this job forever, because that's just it, this is a job, it's not a career and the longer I stay at the school the more frustrated I get at not achieving my goal of returning to the world of media work sooner rather than later. Not for lack of trying though, as I keep the applications flying out and an eye open all the time!
I feel very angsty at the moment. I don't think the fact that I'm turning 25 at the end of the week helps. Teetering on the edge of officially entering my mid-twenties - my quarter-life and the continuing crisis that goes with it - makes me feel more anxious about actually getting round to making some big life decisions. Here (in no particular order) is what I actually question myself over day in, day out:
It's not that I have a problem with being grown up, I think I handle all that quite well, I mean I can go to work with a hangover and get through it if needs be, the term "man up" has become my mantra; it's more the lack of direction that's doing my head in. Perhaps come Friday when I turn the big 2-5 it'll all just magically fall into place and I'll vanquish my quarter-life cirsis just as I reach a quarter of my life (assuming I live till a100 years) or at least that's what I'll wish for when blowing out my candles.
.....Failing that I'll take the more reliable route of drinking to forget on Saturday. Three bottles of cotes du plonk please!
RoseC -x-
The honeymoon period is definitely over and I've resigned myself to the fact that although this job was supposed to be a stop gap it's actually looking like I'll be there longer than originally expected. I mean I'm starting two after school clubs for Christ sake! For anyone that works outside of education let me tell you: basically once you're put forward for extra curricular groups that's it - you're officially part of the fixtures and fittings because you're deemed reliable and responsible enough to do it, organise it and run it and they don't expect you to bolt anytime soon.
I'm emotionally confused about how I actually feel about all this.
On the one hand I actually quite enjoy my job slightly more than I let on. I like being able to help students in their learning, I enjoy and get a great sense of achievement when they finally understand something that was before a complete mystery. When all is said and done, even though it's hard work sometimes it's very rewarding.
The other hand however has it's fingers slightly more in touch with reality and is screaming at me that I can't stay in this job forever, because that's just it, this is a job, it's not a career and the longer I stay at the school the more frustrated I get at not achieving my goal of returning to the world of media work sooner rather than later. Not for lack of trying though, as I keep the applications flying out and an eye open all the time!
I feel very angsty at the moment. I don't think the fact that I'm turning 25 at the end of the week helps. Teetering on the edge of officially entering my mid-twenties - my quarter-life and the continuing crisis that goes with it - makes me feel more anxious about actually getting round to making some big life decisions. Here (in no particular order) is what I actually question myself over day in, day out:
- Do I want to stay in London?
- Should I save some money and head back to Leicester?
- How can I fiesibly make some extra cash so I might be able to go travelling? Sex lines out of the question while working in a school!!!
- What extra, outside fun work things can I do to keep my brain ticking over?
- Fun things cost money, so where do I get that from seens as I don't have any?!
- If the writing stuff's not going too well, what could I actually retrain as and do for a career?
- Should I be doing more to be a better writer?
It's not that I have a problem with being grown up, I think I handle all that quite well, I mean I can go to work with a hangover and get through it if needs be, the term "man up" has become my mantra; it's more the lack of direction that's doing my head in. Perhaps come Friday when I turn the big 2-5 it'll all just magically fall into place and I'll vanquish my quarter-life cirsis just as I reach a quarter of my life (assuming I live till a100 years) or at least that's what I'll wish for when blowing out my candles.
.....Failing that I'll take the more reliable route of drinking to forget on Saturday. Three bottles of cotes du plonk please!
RoseC -x-
Thursday, 1 September 2011
Everything that was wrong, and the few things that were right, with the VMAs
I haven't watched the MTV VMA or Brit Awards since I was a teenager. Back in the days when I dreamt of being a music journalist, regularly reading everything from Smash Hits to Rock Sound, TOTP magazine, Metal Hammer and Kerrang! I was proud of my music knowledge and it was second to none, so in true geek fashion I loved watching and speculating about who was going to win what award, then bitching about it with friends at school when clearly Boyzone were robbed of 'Best Single' by Westlife (or whatever).
Before we go any further I'd like to clarify that my music tastes have changed somewhat and I don't exactly keep up with pop culture as much as I maybe should, but I know enough to get by and am not completely ignorant to the charts and current play lists thanks to Radio 1.
Anyway, last night there was literally fuck all on TV, so found myself cruising the MTV channels and they were half way through a repeat of the Video Music Awards. It only caught my attention because Adele was performing and hands down she's one of my favourite artists at the moment. The VMAs also made for good, easy watching for my housemate who was doing her ironing so we left it on.
After Adele though, things quickly went down hill...
The first thing to go wrong was Justin Beiber. Just him, in general, being in existence. I despise that pathetic excuse for a teenager which such a vehemency that I could probably make myself spontaneously combust if I spent too long dwelling on the subject. I mean I know back in the day we had Aaron Carter, but I'm sure he was never such a cocky fucker. Anyway, I digress - what really wound me up that he won Best Male Video, beating Cee Lo Green and Kanye West's All Of The Lights, which I think is a much more interesting video that watching a fuck witted teenager play a love song on a grand piano in an empty theatre. Where's the originality people?! It sounds like something Wet, Wet, Wet would have done.
I was in a pub in Camden the other day and their tips glass had a note on it which read:
'Every time you tip, it brings Justin Beiber a step closer to death'
Dark I know, but I laughed, and I tipped (more than once - I may be broke but I know a good cause when I see one). I just despise everything he stands for and everything he does.
So that was the first thing that was wrong with the VMAs. The second was the cross dressing antics of Lady Gaga. Not recognising her at first the ironing housemate informed me that she now has this male alter-ego. Hmm ok. So lobster hats and meat dresses don't cut it anymore so instead she's going down the route of drag king for her next publicity stunt. Not sure how I really feel about this? I used to quite like Gaga's individuality, but now I think she just jumps on band waggons or treats things like fads until that's done getting the attention she wants and then fucks it off.
It doesn't help that this male alter-ego seems like a bit of a dick too. While watching last night I Facebooked:
'W
Before we go any further I'd like to clarify that my music tastes have changed somewhat and I don't exactly keep up with pop culture as much as I maybe should, but I know enough to get by and am not completely ignorant to the charts and current play lists thanks to Radio 1.
Anyway, last night there was literally fuck all on TV, so found myself cruising the MTV channels and they were half way through a repeat of the Video Music Awards. It only caught my attention because Adele was performing and hands down she's one of my favourite artists at the moment. The VMAs also made for good, easy watching for my housemate who was doing her ironing so we left it on.
After Adele though, things quickly went down hill...
The first thing to go wrong was Justin Beiber. Just him, in general, being in existence. I despise that pathetic excuse for a teenager which such a vehemency that I could probably make myself spontaneously combust if I spent too long dwelling on the subject. I mean I know back in the day we had Aaron Carter, but I'm sure he was never such a cocky fucker. Anyway, I digress - what really wound me up that he won Best Male Video, beating Cee Lo Green and Kanye West's All Of The Lights, which I think is a much more interesting video that watching a fuck witted teenager play a love song on a grand piano in an empty theatre. Where's the originality people?! It sounds like something Wet, Wet, Wet would have done.
I was in a pub in Camden the other day and their tips glass had a note on it which read:
'Every time you tip, it brings Justin Beiber a step closer to death'
Dark I know, but I laughed, and I tipped (more than once - I may be broke but I know a good cause when I see one). I just despise everything he stands for and everything he does.
So that was the first thing that was wrong with the VMAs. The second was the cross dressing antics of Lady Gaga. Not recognising her at first the ironing housemate informed me that she now has this male alter-ego. Hmm ok. So lobster hats and meat dresses don't cut it anymore so instead she's going down the route of drag king for her next publicity stunt. Not sure how I really feel about this? I used to quite like Gaga's individuality, but now I think she just jumps on band waggons or treats things like fads until that's done getting the attention she wants and then fucks it off.
It doesn't help that this male alter-ego seems like a bit of a dick too. While watching last night I Facebooked:
'W
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