Sometimes I forget that not everyone deals with sex on a daily basis like I do. Recently, I've had conversations where I've been reminded that the sexual revolution is still a work in progress. People are still catching up to the idea of sex, sex toys, watching porn, gender fluidity and sexual orientation becoming a bigger part of our mainstream culture.
I nearly used the phrase, "that these things are becoming 'normal'", but as there is no "normal" when it comes to sex in my opinion, maybe a better phrase is that "these things are becoming more accepted by the majority". That said, I still forget sometimes that we're not all there yet and like Alice coming out of her dream, I'm reminded that there is a world outside the wonderful AdultLand rabbit hole that I fell into five years ago.
A perfect example is a conversation I had during a meeting today regarding a project for the Harmony site. The guy that I'm consulting on it hasn't done any work around adult products ever before. He wasn't sure what to call a 'vibrator'. He tried 'tool' and 'implement', but didn't seem comfortable with either of those, so I offered up "vibrator", or "rabbit" and even "massager" as options to hopefully help put him at ease with something he clearly felt very unsure about.
By the end of our meeting he did appear to be getting the hang of it. Similar to that whole debate around "what should you call a penis or a vagina when talking to a child?", if we start labelling sex toys with daft words then it doesn't help get rid of the stigma around using them, or talking about using them. 'Massager' and 'love ring' are the limits of my prissyness and I only use those when totally necessary on social media.
The chap today certainly wasn't the first person to say, "Before I started working with you, I had no idea about all this stuff. I feel kind of naive, but I'm not a prude!" and I doubt he'll be the last. Undeniably, I do get a kick out of going to meetings with non-AdultLand professionals and see their faces light up when they get to say the words, "dildo", "butt plug", or "cock ring" in front of their CEO/manager in a meeting and it be perfectly acceptable.
Besides this, the real point to be got at here is but I think it's important that us sex writers, journalists - whatever you want to call yourself - do poke our heads out of the rabbit hole every now and then, because it's so easy to take for granted that we're all reading from the same page.
As we burrow through the latest sex science and psychology research, have our heads down writing endless reviews or product copy on yet another slimline silicone vibrator to be "the next big thing", but we're bored to the back teeth with yet another one that, actually, there are still tons of people that are only just coming into contact with this world. It certainly refreshed my view today and reminded me to look up from my porn infested computer from time to time.
So, yeah, that's all I got after being away for a few months writing about nothing but sex toys. Try not to judge me harshly!
RoseC
