Blog on tour

When the internet was first invented and not long after everyone got an email address, it quickly became apparent that there was a dark side to connecting people and friends from all over the world so easily. Electronic evil came in the form of chain emails and letters. 'FORWARD THIS ON OR YOU WILL DIE!' shouted the subject headers. 'Send this to 10 friends you love as much as me or I'll assume you don't love me, you're a bad friend and you will die,' others stated.

I always deleted them. I fucking hate anything chain-related.

However, there is usually an exception to every rule and this is mine. Two weeks ago I was asked by fellow blogger and journalist Catriona Innes to take part in a blogging tour. The idea is you answer some questions about your writing (as you'll soon see), then nominate a fellow blogger who's posts you enjoy, then they answer the same questions and so the chain goes on. For audiences, it'll hopefully introduce you to something new and for us writers it gives us a moment of reflection to contemplate how we do words and stuff. Good all round.

So, like I said, I was nominated by Catriona (Katie), who is author of the wonderful blog Crocuses In The Snow. I first met Katie when I worked at Scarlet magazine and she came to an internship for a month. We've remained in touch ever since and her journalistic career has continued to flourish.

My nominations will follow at the end of this post, but first here are the Q&A's...

What am I working on?
At the moment there's a lot of copywriting going on for an adult brand's website, which is due to launch very soon. That's taking up the majority of my time. In terms of writing for consumer publications I have my regular four columns for top shelf men's mags, which puts me in a constant writing loop as they roll around one after the other. There there's my events page for the gardening website, which gets uploaded weekly. These are my biggest 'day job' paid commissions, but I do let myself have fun with my writing too.

Away from the pressures of deadlines (and writing to pay the bills), I've started typing out my first book about sex (sorry I'm reluctant to give too much away) and am working on a website idea with fellow writer, blogger and friend Faye Dalgleish. I'm especially excited about the latter project as it should be a lot of fun and will give me a bit of a break from writing about relationships and shagging all of the time.

How does my work differ from others of its genre?
In the last year or so it feels like there has been an explosion of young women writing about sex. It feels like we've reached a point where we've become fed up and frustrated with what mainstream media portray as good sex advice and we're beginning to rebel against the candy-coloured ideas presented in SATC or Cosmo or whatever and are calling bullshit on what is considered "normal" or "healthy".

I like to think I have a place in this group of 20-something women, just trying to tell it like it is, be honest and sift the truth from the crap. The fact I was once called "disturbed" by someone on-staff at a women's mag, for simply being honest about sex and the fears some women feel around this subject, just proves my point. Sadly, there are still too many titles and writers that continue to try and dictate what we should consider regular and what is too out there.

My work differs from others because I like to have fun with what I write. So often (and I know I'm going on about sex writing a lot, but at the moment it makes up the bulk of my work load), matters of intimacy are over analysed and picked apart and although there is very much a time and a place for that and it's important we look at trends and issues within sex and sexuality, I sometimes feel we forget that sex should be fun and enjoyable too.

For me, I like to take the more light-hearted line when I can (but still get the facts right of course) and leave the serious analysis and reporting to others. Maybe this is why I enjoy writing for the men's mags so much? I know I can be cheeky, sarcastic and much ruder than any of the mainstream women's mags would ever allow. Having said that, I'm not afraid to throw my two cents in on issues around the rights of sex workers and comment on how sex is reported in the media.

Why do I do what I do?
The brutal and totally unromantic answer to this question is: so that I can pay the bills. Well, writing is my living, so I do what I do because I prefer this profession to any other. See this earlier post about how and why I got into freelancing specifically.

Going down the more abstract, 'writing is my art dharling' route, then I do what I do because I've always enjoyed telling stories. Ever since I was at primary school I loved using my imagination and writing things for others to read and enjoy. When my school got a computer and I'd learnt how to use Publisher, I got a few friends together and created a school newspaper. It was only one sheet of A4 and it was called Goss (short for gossip). We ran three editions, ever, and then I think we got too into playing kiss chase, or using the new skipping ropes, or something.

Since then I always knew I wanted to be a journalist: print, or documentary film (maybe I'll still try this one day) and uncover and write interesting articles. I've always been a pretty social person too, so a career where I get to talk to people, pick at their stories and makes contacts is very attractive to me.

Studying media from GCSE up to degree level taught me so much about the industry and how clever it is. I find it all fascinating. That's what drew me into it and then the sex writing kind of happened by chance: partly because of working at Scarlet and the subjects we'd write about, part because of who we shared an office with (Paul Raymond Publications) and part because the more I read in other women's media, the angrier I felt myself getting and the more bored I became, so made it a personal mission to write something better. I hope I'm achieving that.

The bottom line is, I write because I enjoy it, I give a shit and I believe there's a lot to be said and I want to put my voice towards that.

How does my writing process work?
Geez, this is a tough one, because every article, press release or copywriting job requires a slightly different method, or it does for me. Broadly speaking I'll get an idea for a feature or article after I've read/heard/watched something in the news, or if I've been chatting to friends on the phone, or down the pub. The thing with writing about sex is that (almost) everyone is at it and everyone has such vast and varied experiences of what it's like for them, so there's generally something to comment on, or another angle to find. Anyway, once I've grasped at an idea, I'll do the research to figure out if it's something workable, i.e. can it be turned into 500, 1000, 2000 word feature and then I'll think about where best to pitch it. Sometimes it's a goer, other times ideas fall flat on their arse within minutes of thinking them up.

For the more rigid stuff, like copywriting for a company, it involves doing a lot of reading about the brand, maybe speaking to the CEO and noting down good phrases and words which you can use later. Although it might not look it on the surface, copywriting still requires just as much creativity as penning an entertaining feature on spanking (or something).

So, that wraps up my contribution for the blogging tour. Now to the nominations of who's next...

Laura Lexx: We've heard from lots of authors and journos, so lets spin this blog tour into a slightly different direction by visiting the highly amusing world of stand-up comedian, actress and presenter Laura Lexx. Can't wait to hear about her writing process!

Faye Dalgleish: Erm, ok, so Faye may have only just discovered I'm nominating her to do this, but I reckon she'll only be annoyed at me for a few hours (I can deal with that). My partner in crime at uni and much talented writer, Faye blogs here. Discussing everything from jogging to overheard homophobic diners in a restaurant, Faye's honest approach to blogging about every day occurrences certainly makes for an entertaining read.

Enjoy!

The inevitable 'I'm ill' blog post

I have a really shitty cold. It's only a head cold - scratchy sore throat, sneezing, runny nose, blocked ears - which is even more annoying as the rest of me feels fine(ish). To put it into perspective, annoyingly it's one of those colds where you're not quite sick enough to justify a day in bed feeling sorry for yourself, but you're also not feeling up to scratch and as you sit at your desk working and really all you want to do is go back to bed. I'm so conflicted right now.

However, I am trying my best not to be totally pathetic (which I usually am when I'm ill), so have endeavoured to see the bonuses in my current not-so-healthy state. Here's what I've come up with...

Hot Toddies
Bollocks to mugs of sickly tasting Lemsip, the only drink worth having when you're ill is a hot toddy, preferably just before bed as the shot of whiskey/brandy/gin (that's right, you can make them using gin as well) will mean you sleep just that little bit easier thanks to the warm booZZZe. Lovely.

Stuff Yer Face
It's a well known medical fact (maybe) that you should 'feed a cold and starve a fever'. I'm not one that's usually conscious about my calorie intake anyway, but for those who are on a health kick, here is your perfect excuse for a guilt-free face stuffing opportunity. Eat, eat and eat some more until you feel better! It is for exactly this reason that I am allowing my friend to cook me a lasagna tonight and I intend to eat the majority of it (sorry fellow dining-friends). On the down side, I've found chocolate doesn't help, it just makes your throat feel worse: why is that, when obviously it's supposed to be the ultimate comfort food?

Do Those Little Jobs
There's no way that when you have a head stuffed full of cold that you can tackle that big assignment/project/annual report, so leave it to the side for a day or two until you're less fuzzy feeling. However, we're not slacking, there's still work to be done! Instead let yourself finally get round to doing all those little, less important admin jobs you've been needing to do for aaaages, but can't justify the time. It's still getting work done, so that's definitely a win.

Use A Nasal Spray
Honestly, they're just hilarious and make you pull the stupidest faces (or, is that just me...?).

Early To Bed
Being sick is a great excuse to be tucked up in bed and watching crap on NetFlix by 8pm and asleep by 9pm. Usually you can't get away with this, as your so-called "friends" refuse to believe you're getting old even though you've explained time and time again that "things are different when you reach your late twenties. I like being in bed and sleeping for longer on a school night."

*Le sigh*      

Ah, Nuts!

So, Nuts magazine is apparently closing after over a decade of offering us boobs, boobs, tits and a smattering of sport and 'news'. Admittedly, I've not picked up an issue of Nuts since Johnny Vaughn's celebrity was considered worthy of being on the front-cover. That's right, a long time ago. This comes only a month after the announcement that Front was to shut-up shop too. What's happening to the male magazine market?! More importantly, should I be worried?

Erm, well, yes and no.

There are many things the closure of Nuts could signify - another nail in the coffin of "lad culture"; a "win" for those radical feminists (a.k.a rad femmes) that believe these magazines existed only to objectify women; proof that if you fuck with the Co-Op then they will break you.

Personally, I was never that bothered by Nuts, or Zoo for that matter. As a woman that writes for a handful of well established porn magazines (good grief, don't let too many women's magazine commissioning editors hear me say that!) it would be difficult for me to say I was ever offended by them, but nor was I aroused. It was just a bit of titillation, a bit of fun. Bear in mind I write this from the point of view of a body confident female, that has the luxury of not being swayed so much about how my body should look compared to that of the women in the magazines. Anyhoo, the models I met that shot for them were always happy, contented and excited about being in the magazine, so fair play. However, I did always think Nuts were a bit in limbo after the height of laddishness had passed.    

They weren't welcome on the middle-shelf, because kids might see cleavage, but nor were they really welcome on the top. Compare an issue of Nuts to the latest copy of Escort that I got through the post and it's fairly obvious why the two shouldn't sit next to each other. As a friend of mine so eloquently put it when she saw the pornography lying around my office: "This is well in-yer-face stuff. Don't see that in Nuts!"

Correct, you don't. If lad mags started showing full frontal pussy in their pages I don't think they would have got within 10 feet of the Co-Op. Ever. Let alone being taken off the shelves just last year. (That was the "no" I'm not worried part of the answer, they're just too different areas of the market to really compare them, alas people do, which leads me on to...)

I find it odd, then, that there have been (mostly feminist-led) suggestions the reason Nuts is closing is because of that cliched argument: there's too much free porn on the internet. Cue next wave of internet porn hysteria in a few days time (this will be the "yes", get worried, part of my answer).

In advance of the "too much porn" debate being raised for the umpteenth time, and while I don't want the magazines I write for to be the next target for feminazis, I'd like to say...

Stop grabbing on to the sad demise of one magazine to stir up more arguments about our supposed porn saturated culture. What young 20-something men want today isn't the same as what the 20-something lads of 10 years ago wanted from their media. Quite why we jump to the conclusion that it must be sex related is beyond me? Men stop looking at tits in magazines, so it simply must mean that they're replacing it by watching hardcore online? Give over.

Show me the definitive proof that's where their readers have gone before we start pointing the finger.

Also, if online porn is to blame for the closure of this magazine, then why haven't actual porn mags become extinct? Surely that should have happened long ago?

It's the fact that the publishers are running at a loss. It comes down to cold, hard facts and figures that generally speaking, as the internet grows, you're print figures are going to decline. It's then up to the publisher if those figures keep them happy or not. Realistically, I suspect the decision and reasons to close had very little to do with where blokes go these days for their wank-fodder.

Whatever may have caused the circulation to drop doesn't compensate for the fact that around 30 people, plus all of the models that posed for the magazine, are currently at risk of loosing their jobs and a form of income. As someone that has been through redundancy consultations, where the life of your much-loved magazine is hanging in the balance, I can say that it really does suck. Hugely. Try to explain to any one of them, "internet porn made you loose your job" and I think they're well within their right to tell you where to stick it.

3 Sex Facts I learnt Today

Some days it's a complete pleasure to be a journalist, because all you have to do is sit, read and immerse yourself in research to prep for an upcoming feature. Today was one of those days for me and it probably won't come as much of a surprise that what I was researching involved sex.

Here are three tid-bits of super interesting sex things I learnt today, that sadly won't make the feature, but I didn't want to let them go to waste!

1. Sharks and vagina's - like two peas in a pod
Well, sort of. Very vaguely. Luckily it doesn't have anything to do with razor sharp teeth and vagina dentata. Both contain squalene: a substance found in shark livers and natural vaginal lubricant.

2. How To Make Fake Spunk
Sometimes scientists need to make artificial semen. Masters & Johnson reportedly did this to try and disprove the 'up-suck' theory (which they did). Apparently to make something of the same consistency of actual semen you need a cup of flour mixed with water, although, apparently, cornstarch works just as well.

3. Discovery of Human Sex Pheromones
Knowledge of animals using pheromones to attract a mate has been known to scientists since the late 70's, but it wasn't until 1986 that they discovered that humans give off pheromones too. That was the year I was born and is a super cool fact. I'm miffed as to why that was never included on my "year you were born keyring"?!

The Perfect Mess

I am in turmoil. My other half has just cleaned the office, thus affecting all of the positive creative energy within the room, which I use to feed off and come up with all of my wonderful, world-changing ideas. As he faffed and put-away, I felt myself getting more anxious. I need that magazine there, and leave that bit of paper so I know where it is and yes, I do need that receipt. ARGH!

The (intelligent) git has just pointed out the paradox of the situation: that by cleaning and "ruining my creative environment" he's just given me something to write about in this blog.

What a bastard.

We have a "shared" office space. It's not equally shared, it is more mine than his. He only works from home once a month for a week, whereas I am here all of the time and even the week that he does work from home, he only uses it in the evenings when a work related call comes through. Essentially, it is my office and in my office I like a certain amount of organised mess. It's nothing OTT, it's not like I have coffee cups piled high or newspaper clippings everywhere. It's more just a few magazines dotted about the place that I haven't got round to putting away, or am constantly referring to in the week that I have a deadline, and the several notepads - each assigned a different feature - that I need to have on the desk at all times until my deadline for said feature has been met.

To the untrained eye, it may look messy, but it's organised mess and there's actually some positive research about organised mess.

Take this 2012 study for example, where a group of two students we're placed in two different rooms: one insanely neat and the other with a bit of chaos. Asking the students to dream up new uses for ping pong balls, the ones in the messy room came up with much more imaginative uses (and no, I'm sure none of them had anything to do with popping out of body parts). Just one example that mess equals creativity.

Or this book, A Perfect Mess: The Hidden Benefits of Disorder. It argues that too much neat encroaches on productive time. "If you devote all your time to organizing, you won’t get anything done. If you don’t spend any time organizing, the resultant mess bogs you down completely. When you find the ‘sweet spot’ between messiness and order, then you have a perfect mess," explained Eric Abrahamson, one of the book's authors. That's what I have...sorry, had! A perfect mess.

Tomorrow could have been the day that I sit in my organised messy office and dream up my blockbuster novel. I guess now we will never know!

Death By Desk: the slow demise of a freelancer

Winter, plus a desk job, equals a much unhealthier me. Although I'm a keen cyclist, I'm also keen to make more of my career and the only thing that could tear me away from being attached to my desk for 8+ hours previously was the prospect of going for a cycle ride in the sunshine. Now that's gone and been replaced with grey winter skies, I'm even less inclined to leave the comfort of my office chair.

Sadly, the reality of it is that if I don't get up and do some form of exercise, I will die sooner. Apparently. I particularly like this headline that Forbes ran: 'How To Stop Your Office Chair From Killing You'. It's just sensational enough and has caused me to view my own office chair in a homicidal light that I'd previously overlooked. How foolish of me. Everybody knows is was the chair, in the office whodunit.

Part of the problem is that it's ale season. Where in the summer months I was drinking light and cheery Pimms or G'n'T, now I'm indulging in frothy, filling ales. It's wonderful, it really is, apart from the fact that it's ale. And I'm not exercising as much. It doesn't take a genius to work out how "jolly" I must be looking at this time of year.

I'm a total desk jockey. Despite knowing it's bad for me, there will be days when I don't even leave the house. The furthest I move is from office, to kitchen, to living room and back again. They're all on the same floor, so there isn't even any climbing of stairs involved. This is very much an area of being a work from home freelancer that I hate.

For all of the stress it caused me, there was one great thing about working in the high school all those months ago: it got me out of the house and I was mainly working with the PE department, so I was super active every day. There are loads of naff sounding desk exercises I could do, but none of them really appear to be what I'd call "exercise". Stretching and flexing my feet or whatever is. If I'm going to exercise then that means getting the heart rate going.

With the view that I'd be writing this blog this evening, I did manage to persuade myself to go for a walk around the park on my lunch break. That kind of helped appease my concern about being slowly murdered by my office chair. Tomorrow I'm planning on going to a pilates class and on Thursday and Saturday I promise to go cycling. Will this be enough to offset my sitting? One can only hope that cycling in the cold will help to decrease my "jolliness". I'm confident that in many ways, it will.

EDIT
Had a few useful suggestions from friends on Facebook, so thought I'd share them here too, so you can make sure of them too.

Emily - also a writer - suggested the little and often approach. Try doing 10 mins of an activity like jogging, skipping, pilates, on the exercise bike each weekday. At the weekend do a bigger get out of the house activity. The beauty, as Emily says, is that you can really fit this in around your work schedule each day.

Gym-bunny friend Harriet - has a desk job - recommends hitting up You Tube for some short, power bursting exercise vids. Specifically she suggested the channel 'Fitness Blender' (sound violent!) as they do short routines that are ideal for home.

Any other good ideas, feel free to post them below and I'll put them up for others to benefit from too.

The Slow Web Concept

When it comes to media and the news, everything is fast these days. Last weekend I went to an event called The Sunday Papers Live and one of the speakers was Jon Snow from C4 news. One of the most fascinating aspects of his (informal) lecture was his telling of how they used to get world news back to the UK. By the time it reached Heathrow, the news he had reported on was generally two or three days out of date.

Oh, how things have changed. Now there are stories that can be published on the web and 10, 30, 40 minutes later it might be out of date. The beauty I suppose is that it can be easily amended without the print costs, but is fast news/comment/reports/features always a good thing?

This morning, before settling down to my day of work, I read a feature about a freelancer that had set up his own quarterly, online magazine. Adam Westbrook, the author of the feature, calls it 'micropublishing'. He was working solo and funded it himself. For many writers, I'm sure this would be the dream, but what I really liked about his project was the idea of the 'slow web' which beautifully contradicts how we usually consume internet based information. Adam Westbrook wrote:

'In a world where blog posts are scribbled off in 20 minutes and skimmed over by readers in 20 seconds, I wanted to write something that stuck.

I wanted to spend weeks researching essays, designing bespoke illustrations and scouring lost books. The result, I think, is a magazine made with love that demands your attention. I begin each issue suggesting the reader clears an hour from their schedule, switches off their 3G and pours a coffee.'

I love this. One of my favourite things to do at the weekend currently is to buy the papers and pour over them for hours, reading each section and the magazines/supplements. My chap asked me the other day, "why bother?" Obviously he was implying that it's easier and quicker to get it off social media, or the paper's website, but it all feels so frantic. It still feels like you're only getting snippets, or you have to read it quicker because it's on the web and comments are being constantly added, or the article might be modified by the editors at the touch of a button, so then what you're reading might change completely. At least with the papers it remains static. There's more of a chance to take it all in.

For me, print journalism still has a greater air of authority. Maybe because amid a huge amount of free media, you still have to pay for your print. Anything committed to this format feels more final. Know what I mean? I like the idea though of an alternative 'slow web', where there's a reminder that not all writing has to be hashed out in an hour or less.

A new challenge

So, since my last post I've been thinking a lot about my "personal branding". I reckon one thing I need to be better at is put myself about more. At the moment, I think the number of publications I'm contributing to, especially online, is fairly limited. Considering how many different outlets there are I should be doing more and writing more for more of them. It's all about getting my name and face in as many places as possible. I've even recently had new head shots, so here's hoping that will help.

The challenge I want to try and under take is to get a feature in a different publication (online or print) every month. Don't want to go too extreme at the moment and set myself up for failure. I'm also going to update my blog every day. I had a friend do this a couple of years ago and although she sometimes found it tough to find inspiration, or the energy after doing a full day at work, she stuck to it. I'm hoping it will help me hone in on a few more ideas about being a freelancer, what I like about the career and how to be better at it. I think eventually I'd like this blog to be a useful resource to other young freelancers, plus it will give me a bit of a break from talking about sex all of the time.

Of course there might be a bit of a catch to this challenge: not every publication I approach, or write for may pay. Bit of a problem when you're only source of income is your writing. Needless to say I'll be taking a hit along the way. I just hope my accountant isn't reading this.

One of my uni lecturers said about freelancing: "you should never write for free." Now, in the thick of it and having been a freelancer for over a year I can see both sides of the coin. Plus, when that little nugget of wisdom was passed on to me and my class mates, the idea of e-zines, blogs and media on tablets was literally only just on the rise.

So, there we go, challenge set. Lets see how it all plays out...

RoseC -x-

Personal Branding

Found this on www.journalism.co.uk today offering tips to freelancers on personal branding. Reckon it really is relevant to anyone that works for themselves though, so you may find it useful too.

Taking a read, there's some good ideas...granted it did make me go, "ah, crap! I don't do any of that," when I first read it and I felt a bit lousy that I've been such a bad marketer of myself, but at least now I have something to kick my arse into gear to sort my "personal branding" out. Basically, I think I need to put it about a bit more...

The Winds Of Change

Currently I'm experiencing something new in my freelance career: the (potential) cancelling of one of my regular columns. It sort of came as a surprise, but not entirely and I have mixed feelings about it. Columns, contributions and commissions get cut all of the time I'm sure, but it's yet to have happened to me and I'm what? Two years in at the most? That's not bad going really.

At the moment I'll avoid saying which publication may be canning the feature I write as it's not 100 percent confirmed, but when the issue was raised last week I felt a little bit crestfallen to begin with. They had sort of thrown it open to me, in a very round about way, asking if I'd like to continue writing it and part of me did and part of me didn't. In the end I decided to think on it for a few days.

So I took the weekend and stewed it over. Mostly I've come to the conclusion, depending on the editor's final decision, that this particular feature has run it's course. Realising that actually gave me a bit of a thrill. It's been a while since I've approached any new publications - online or print - and flexed my digits around some different writing styles. There are a couple of projects that appear to be drawing to a close at the moment and on the whole, rather than feel panicked, it's actually quite refreshing.

I apologise for sounding hugely clichéd right there.

Pretty much since my freelancing career began I've been writing for the same titles. This is partly for financial security reasons, partly because they've been on-going projects that have afforded me opportunities to develop a few new skills. It would have been silly to stop any of them in their tracks just because I'd been working on/for certain companies for a year or so.

On the other hand, part of the beauty of freelancing is having the chance to chop and change and test the waters with lots of different publications should I desire to do that and I definitely think that's one area of this whole freelance journalism malarkey I'm yet to really put to the test and experiment with. Although it's sad to loose a regular column - and one that I actually really enjoyed writing - I'd rather see this as a positive. It will free up a bit more of my time each month so I can explore other avenues.

So, it's a little bit out with the current and in with the new and so far the breeze seems to be fairly warm and inviting. Will have to 'watch this space' though.

Over and out for now.
RoseC -x-

Twitchy

ARGH! I've got that thing this evening where I've been writing all day, but it's mostly been massively mundane stuff and now I feel I need to write something all insightful and creative, but because of the more cardboard writing I've been doing I'm actually a little bit brain dead. It's that thing where what you're writing is probably a completely ramble, but it feels so nice (from a writer's point of view) to just get it out of your fingers and your head and write something that, despite being a bit nothingness, at least requires a bit more thought and free flow than the rigid, dull, structured stuff you've been doing for the rest of the day. Any other writers/creative people reading this and know what I mean.

this is going to sound lame, but it's like you need to let all the lovely words and phrases pour out of your finger tips that you've been unable to use during the day. I guess now would be a good time to have a go at that 'flow poetry' malarkey, which I'm usually not very good at. Perhaps that's what I'll sit and do this evening.

Really I wanted to write a blog about networking and press events. I have this really insightful and thoughtful blog I'd like to write in regards to that side of my job, but tonight is not the night to do that. When I do write it, I'd like it to be useful, maybe even provoke some sort of debate between PRs and journalists. Ooh, me being controversial!

As it is, my fingers are feeling twitchy and my brain needs to splurge, so here it is and the more I type the more relieved I'm feeling. Reckon a few more sentences and I'll be feeling suitably satisfied. Writing blurb copy for sex toys all day just doesn't cut it in the satisfying stakes in the same way a juicy feature or blog would. Anyway, this is feeling good. My fingers and brain are beginning to feel appeased. I'm not even going to read this back you know until after I've hit post. I'm a rebel. I know! What can I say? Ooh...wait a minute...

Ah, that feels better :-)

Consider myself de-twitched (and I didn't even have any coffee today!).

Switching Off: Not Even A Holiday Can Stop ME!

When I tell people that I work from home, the most common reaction I get is, "Ooh, I couldn't do that. I'd get easily distracted by things to do around the house, or just wouldn't bother getting out of bed 'til late."

Surprisingly, what I've so-far found in my short, work-from-home freelance career is that it's amazingly easy to not be a lazy fucker, especially when you see the state of your bank balance at the end of the month. So, it's not the getting motivated that's the problem, it's the learning when to stop and switch off that I find tougher. There is no home-time bell, no contracted hours, no office manager or building security chap to say, "it's time to stop and go home."

I've been learning and realising that knowing when to stop requires just as much discipline as getting started.

Recently I've had the opportunity to sink my teeth into some meaty articles and I've really enjoyed researching and writing them. As I touched on in a recent post, some days I simply sit and read for work. I can do this for hours before consolidating what's relevant to put into the piece I'm working on. Finally, I've been fully enjoying and loving what I do and I've become more confident too, taking on more and more projects. Apologies, I don't mean to sound smug, I know there are a good many people stuck in jobs they wish they weren't and trust me, I know how that feels. It's taken a lot of "uhm'ing" and "ah'ing" and much soul searching and questioning my career options, before finally getting to this stage and now I'm reluctant to let it go.

Last week the boyfriend and I went on holiday to Fuerteventura. Yes, it was lovely thank you for asking, but I found it hard to stop and relax which I thought was weird and a bit unsettling. I'd been gagging for this holiday before we went away having not taken any real time off since January. There were a whirlwind of deadlines I needed to meet before we caught our flight and it was all go, go, GO! in my little home office. I loved it because it felt like being on press and that's definitely something I miss about not working on staff at a magazine. A bit of pressure never did any journalist any harm.

For the first two/three days of being on holiday, I couldn't relax. My phone was off, there were no emails to check, no press events to go to, articles to write or edit. My only job was to sit. Read (something not work related). Relax. I found that hard at first and it made me anxious, having the total reverse effect of what "a holiday" is designed to do.

A few ice creams and a dune buggy adventure ride around the volcanoes later and I was managing to get into the swing of it. By this time is was Wednesday rolling into Thursday; we were due to fly back on Saturday. Still, I did get some days of R&R, feeling the most tranquil when I was at the beach, floating and swimming in the crystal clear ocean.

Do you know the first thing I did when we got back to the UK though? Correct, I turned on my phone and checked my work email. We hadn't even got to baggage reclaim and it was a Saturday. There was no reason why I couldn't have waited to check until Monday. It was my boyfriend's reaction that possibly prompted me to question my ability to switch off, when he said: "So that's it then? Holiday over?" I felt bad. I'd definitely screwed up the work/life balance on that occasion.

Since being back I've worked until 8pm or 9pm every night and my mind has been ticking over with readings and ideas all the time I'm not sat at my laptop. I know, I know! There will be some people out there thinking, 'Is that it? I work until 2 or 3 in the AM,'. Well, that's fine, but I am definitely more of a lark than an owl. Give me an early, productive start over a late finish any time.

Slipping back into work-mode has been so easy and I've got a whole new set of projects to start now. There are also some interesting looking events I'm going to over the next month, again all work-related, and although I'm excited by them I'm conscious of the fact that a lot of my conversation, socialising and evenings are still me being switched on for work.

Definitely, one of the biggest pitfalls, or toughest things to get right is a life/work balance.

RoseC -x-
 

A big ball of sunshine and happiness...

Today I am feeling fucked off.

There are several reasons for this, some I may go into and some I definitely won't. Lets tackle the obvious one first: the weather is really fucking nice and I'm stuck indoors writing, or trying to write, but I'm being thwarted at every turn and nothing seems to be coming together for me today. If ever there was a worse example of pathetic fallacy, then today would be it because my mood is fucking hideous, but it's such a glorious and beautiful day outside.

Bastard weather.

Another reason for my bad mood is that I'm uncharacteristically feeling like a complete soppy fucker and really missing The Boyf. He's been staying at mine for the last three weeks, but he "moved out" on Sunday. He's found a house now, so the pressure is off a little, but he has to help arrange viewings for his old place down in Kent. Do I feel as if I've been dropped like a cold bag of sick?...Of course not...

I thought I'd be all happy having my own space back, but instead I feel a bit shit that he's not around in the evenings and as much as I hated him waking me up because I was snoring, I quite miss having him in bed. Mostly I miss him cooking for me though. I've to reacquaint myself with how a saucepan works as well as how to navigate around Tesco for the food shopping. Well, it's just been so long since I've had to do it...

Talking of space, the final 'mini rant' I'm going to have is about the fact that I may have to move house. The landlord has decided to put the rent up and there's no way I can justify paying more than I do for my box of a room. Moving house is a ball ache - hunting for a house is even more so. Especially as we're in the run up to the Olympics. I can't even begin to tell you how many adverts on Gumtree are advertising properties at disgusting prices just because the Olympics are on for two weeks of the fucking year. Fuck that.

Overall I think today is a complete write-off. Not what I had in mind at all as I was so productive on Monday and yesterday I had a really good day in the sex shop; I managed to sell one of the most expensive toys in the cabinet!

Go me!

RoseC -x- 

Setting the lance free!

Right, I may be jumping the gun a bit here as there are still many details to be sorted in regards to what I'm about to tell you, but I'm sure as you can deduce from this mega long first sentence, I'm a little bit excited!

It's been nearly a month since I made the decision to quit the school job and go out as a freelance writer and today I've finally got my first bite! After traipsing around Westfield shopping centre picking up last minute Christmas pressies, I returned home, opened up my email and found a message from an editor of an online magazine asking if I'd take on some news writing for the next couple of months for the site.

HELL YES!

The payment is quite small though.

I DON'T CARE!

I'm grinning from ear to ear that I'll have something else to add to my portfolio, and it's writing on a subject completely different to anything I've done before so I'm very excited as it'll really stretch me and be a challenge.

More than anything it's given me a real confidence boost; maybe I really can go out and do this freelance thing and make it work? Quitting the school was a risky decision - especially financially - but I've so made the right decision that mans I can start to make decisions to move my career in the direction I want.

Happy times. Drinks all round...

RoseC :-D