The Winds Of Change

Currently I'm experiencing something new in my freelance career: the (potential) cancelling of one of my regular columns. It sort of came as a surprise, but not entirely and I have mixed feelings about it. Columns, contributions and commissions get cut all of the time I'm sure, but it's yet to have happened to me and I'm what? Two years in at the most? That's not bad going really.

At the moment I'll avoid saying which publication may be canning the feature I write as it's not 100 percent confirmed, but when the issue was raised last week I felt a little bit crestfallen to begin with. They had sort of thrown it open to me, in a very round about way, asking if I'd like to continue writing it and part of me did and part of me didn't. In the end I decided to think on it for a few days.

So I took the weekend and stewed it over. Mostly I've come to the conclusion, depending on the editor's final decision, that this particular feature has run it's course. Realising that actually gave me a bit of a thrill. It's been a while since I've approached any new publications - online or print - and flexed my digits around some different writing styles. There are a couple of projects that appear to be drawing to a close at the moment and on the whole, rather than feel panicked, it's actually quite refreshing.

I apologise for sounding hugely clichéd right there.

Pretty much since my freelancing career began I've been writing for the same titles. This is partly for financial security reasons, partly because they've been on-going projects that have afforded me opportunities to develop a few new skills. It would have been silly to stop any of them in their tracks just because I'd been working on/for certain companies for a year or so.

On the other hand, part of the beauty of freelancing is having the chance to chop and change and test the waters with lots of different publications should I desire to do that and I definitely think that's one area of this whole freelance journalism malarkey I'm yet to really put to the test and experiment with. Although it's sad to loose a regular column - and one that I actually really enjoyed writing - I'd rather see this as a positive. It will free up a bit more of my time each month so I can explore other avenues.

So, it's a little bit out with the current and in with the new and so far the breeze seems to be fairly warm and inviting. Will have to 'watch this space' though.

Over and out for now.
RoseC -x-

Rose Crompton: The Risk Taker!

Nine more days to go,
Nine more days of sorrow!
Nine more days in this old dump,
But I still have to go to work tomorrow.

Boo and hiss. I wish I could finish that song properly, with the correct line of 'Because I won't be here tomorrow.' Bide your time Crompton, bide your time...

Actually, after those nine days I shall never have to go back to the school again, because last week I handed in my notice. This could either be incredibly stupid, or it could work out to be the best decision and the life changing moment I've craved in the last year and a half. As yet I'm undecided; I'm hoping it'll be the latter though and be the massive shove I need to make a few stable life decisions about what to do with my career.

Before you ask, and to get the stupid side of it out of the way, no I don't as of yet have another job lined up. I have no idea what I'm going to do. I don't have a nest egg to fall back on to support me. When my last pay cheque comes through on the 20th December that, as far as I know, will be the last of my money to make stretch as far as possible until I find something else.

Yep...there it is. I can definitely hear those faint cries of, "Fucking hell Rose! What you playing at?" But hey, you know, I'm ok with it. I'm not worried about money at the moment. My main aim is to find something to do that'll make me happy. I know I've only been in my promoted role of HLTA for five weeks, but sometimes you just know when something doesn't feel right. The last few months I've been questioning whether my job is really as satisfying as I thought it was and trying to convince myself that I enjoy it in the hope I may be able to cross off the

• Find a job that I find interesting and rewarding

target from the 2011 list. Time is fast running out and I fear that may have to be a repeat point for 2012. Thankfully I do have the moral support of my parents on this too. My Dad was a teacher for thirty odd years, and he's always said unless you're 100% committed to teaching, it can be such a soul destroying profession. And he's right. I haven't felt totally into it and I guess the promotion was a bit of a slap in the face and wake up call that life is too short to be slogging away at something that you're heart's not in.

Gosh, he can be a very wise man sometimes!

Despite not knowing exactly what I want to do, I do have a few rough ideas: the main aim is to establish more of a freelance journo role and get back into writing. Over the next couple of weeks I may become a bit of a stalker and harass a few titles I'd like to write for in the hope of getting some commissions to pay the bills. I've thought I might even go old skool and drop off some CVs in Soho. I could see myself happily working in one of the many sex shops giving appealing advice to sexperimental couples. I've got a few writing projects for fun I'd like to get off the ground too, a short film here, some erotic stories there...

Even being able to splurge all of these possibilities in a blog entry is making me feel excited that I'm taking control of possible career choices, rather than rolling from one job to another for the sake of money. It's the exciting prospects and adventures of what could lay in front of me as long as I completely submerge myself and throw myself into it. I know it won't be easy, probably with a fair amount of rejection along the way, but at least I know that this will be happening because I've chosen it rather than feeling duty bound.

*Sigh* Definitely a happy Rose this evening.