REVEALED! The most EVIL thing in the world!

Today I would like to share with you a theory that I have. My theory, after spending two days trying to write in my boyfriend's 'rustic' country house, is that feeling cold is actually the worst feeling in the world.

Now, some people may argue that there are worse feelings, like being bitten by a dog, getting a kidney infection, the hangover you're still suffering with after Christmas, or being tortured with tweezers. Granted, I agree, these are all very unpleasant things, but as I sit here typing this wearing three layers, a thick cardigan, a scarf, my beanie hat and fingerless gloves while being wrapped up in a large blanket, I can categorically tell you that feeling cold is not fun. And feeling cold for a sustained amount of time - like two days - is, in itself, torture.

My knees have turned blue for Christ's sake! My body is aching from tensing up and shivering so much and now my nose has started to run. I've been unable to be properly productive or get out of bed until at least 11am because it's so cold (and it has nothing to do with still feeling I'm on holiday time and enjoying the lie-ins) I have to stay under the duvets.

It is hell - but once it has frozen over - and firmly cemented this theory which I've been considering for many years that cold is the worst feeling in the world; ever since we were forced to play outside at break and lunch times in primary school even though it must have been 0 degrees. Those cruel, cruel dinner ladies and I had so much less meat on me bones!

Being cold is immobilising. You can literally do nothing but stand there, shiver and curse at how cold you feel. While being cold, it really is the only thing that you can think about. People may tell you to run about to get warm, or do little jiggy jumps on the spot, but you've either used up all the energy you'd need to do that through shivering, or you're so angry at being cold that the last thing you fancy doing is going for a gentle, jovial jog around whatever sodding field or bus stop or whatever you're waiting at. All you can really do is think about the nearest warm location you can go to to escape it. It's a bastard of an enemy to have.

I'd like to point out though, before some smart arse that knows me decides to get in first, that I am well aware for my love of being in the mountains and snowboarding. But if you've ever had the pleasure of going on a winter holiday or enjoying a spot of apres ski, you'll know that it's a very different sort of cold. It's a fresh cold, not a biting cold like we're forced to endure here. Also - and here's another theory of mine - when you're up a mountain, you're higher up and so technically closer to the sun, so of course it's warmer. All makes sense now doesn't it?

Or I could be completely mad, and just tell myself when snowboarding at -15 to keep warm...

I think the only person I'll let get away with saying being in the mountains is miserably cold right now is my brother, who's in Calgary, Canada. It gets to -30 something there, and they're only allowed to stop working at -25 (he's a ski instructor). That's hardcore. That is not happy mountain cold. That is just stupid.

Well, I've just put on the little electric heater in boyfriend's room. I know how much those bastard things cost though so I feel bad having it on too long. Think a cup of tea is in order too.

Bloody cold.

RoseC(hivers)
-x-