Strippers, thongs and full frontal nudity (probably NSFW)

Believe it or not, I only just popped my strip club cherry this weekend. Considering where I used to work and what I used to do, I was surprised too! I've seen strippers before, either at burlesque shows or once at a lesbian club, but had never stepped foot in an actual strip club. Since watching Jessica from Saved By The Bell gyrate around on gentleman's laps in Showgirls, I thought strip clubs would be highly sexed, luxurious places, with gorgeous girls and a titillating air of seduction. My actual opinion of strip clubs now that I've been in one: tasteless.

For me any sort of sexual experience should be fun, but I just didn't feel that vibe at all. Instead it was like everyone was duty-bound to play their roles: the strippers were there to come on to as many guys as they could with their slightly forceful chat up lines and a quick wiggle of their tits in the gentleman's face as a mean to entice them, and then the men were of course supposed to be bowled over and accept the offer of a "special dance" with much gratitude that out of all the men in the club she had picked him. If you reject her and say no though, as my fella did, then you'd be met with a disapproving "tut" that you weren't playing the game and she'd move onto the gentleman stood next to you where you'd hear her repeat the exact same garb that was meant to spark that special connection between you and her.

Seeing that repeat play is what totally highlighted just how unsexy strip clubs are. I'm well aware that they're a business and that the girls are out to make money, but is there any need to be so blatant about it? To the point that it totally takes away the sexy, seductive, fun element of what is supposed to be a sensual experience. Long and short of it, it's really not that hot. I've been packed in a room with a hundred people or more to watch a burlesque show, and I still feel like I had more of a titillating and intimate experience with that performer and the many people in the room, than I did when a pair of strippers came to accost me and the boyfriend.

I felt particularly bad for my boyfriend as he couldn't move two steps without being 'chatted up' by a bare breasted stripper forcing her assets on him. It was his first time in a strip club too and after turning down the third stripper in a row, trying to politely explain that he didn't was a "special dance" he felt guilty. By his own admission he felt he didn't handle it well and took to wrapping his arms around me whenever a stripper with a false look of seduction in her eyes came near him. Bless.

As a fairly liberal girlfriend, I of course didn't mind the girls trying to tempt him away with a dance. He is gorgeous and I even felt a bit flattered that so many of them approached him, (or perhaps it was obvious that he was fresh meat?) but at the same time I felt a bit annoyed or upset because to them he was just another potential punter; a few more quid in their purse if they got him to say yes. Whereas I know he's a lot more than that and I know he shares similar views as me as to what sex should be about. He's special in that way, and would be completely wasted on those women. Even if I do say so myself!

Going there as a couple was interesting too. Only once did we get hit on by a pair of girls, but even then they tried to spilt us up and work us individually. With his arm wrapped firmly around my shoulders and the odd kiss on my head while one of the strippers was talking to him, I very much got the impression that he was anxious, so I put on my best "thanks, but no thanks" face and ushered them along to the next punter, which I think happened to be a very famous male celebrity, who gladly took the girls up on their offer. So it all worked out well in the end.

Strange experience all round really and unfortunately one that has burst a potential fantasy bubble forever!

RoseC -x-