Rose Crompton: The Risk Taker!

Nine more days to go,
Nine more days of sorrow!
Nine more days in this old dump,
But I still have to go to work tomorrow.

Boo and hiss. I wish I could finish that song properly, with the correct line of 'Because I won't be here tomorrow.' Bide your time Crompton, bide your time...

Actually, after those nine days I shall never have to go back to the school again, because last week I handed in my notice. This could either be incredibly stupid, or it could work out to be the best decision and the life changing moment I've craved in the last year and a half. As yet I'm undecided; I'm hoping it'll be the latter though and be the massive shove I need to make a few stable life decisions about what to do with my career.

Before you ask, and to get the stupid side of it out of the way, no I don't as of yet have another job lined up. I have no idea what I'm going to do. I don't have a nest egg to fall back on to support me. When my last pay cheque comes through on the 20th December that, as far as I know, will be the last of my money to make stretch as far as possible until I find something else.

Yep...there it is. I can definitely hear those faint cries of, "Fucking hell Rose! What you playing at?" But hey, you know, I'm ok with it. I'm not worried about money at the moment. My main aim is to find something to do that'll make me happy. I know I've only been in my promoted role of HLTA for five weeks, but sometimes you just know when something doesn't feel right. The last few months I've been questioning whether my job is really as satisfying as I thought it was and trying to convince myself that I enjoy it in the hope I may be able to cross off the

• Find a job that I find interesting and rewarding

target from the 2011 list. Time is fast running out and I fear that may have to be a repeat point for 2012. Thankfully I do have the moral support of my parents on this too. My Dad was a teacher for thirty odd years, and he's always said unless you're 100% committed to teaching, it can be such a soul destroying profession. And he's right. I haven't felt totally into it and I guess the promotion was a bit of a slap in the face and wake up call that life is too short to be slogging away at something that you're heart's not in.

Gosh, he can be a very wise man sometimes!

Despite not knowing exactly what I want to do, I do have a few rough ideas: the main aim is to establish more of a freelance journo role and get back into writing. Over the next couple of weeks I may become a bit of a stalker and harass a few titles I'd like to write for in the hope of getting some commissions to pay the bills. I've thought I might even go old skool and drop off some CVs in Soho. I could see myself happily working in one of the many sex shops giving appealing advice to sexperimental couples. I've got a few writing projects for fun I'd like to get off the ground too, a short film here, some erotic stories there...

Even being able to splurge all of these possibilities in a blog entry is making me feel excited that I'm taking control of possible career choices, rather than rolling from one job to another for the sake of money. It's the exciting prospects and adventures of what could lay in front of me as long as I completely submerge myself and throw myself into it. I know it won't be easy, probably with a fair amount of rejection along the way, but at least I know that this will be happening because I've chosen it rather than feeling duty bound.

*Sigh* Definitely a happy Rose this evening.

Great weekends

You know when you get those few and far between weekends that you never want to end? Well this weekend was exactly one of those for me. Everything about it from start to finish was amazing: from strip club adventures, to a Wench's fabulous birthday party, closely followed by friendly catch ups in Camden and some top chow in China Town. A little bit of this also added to the fun...

 I hasten to add that I didn't drink all of those by myself! It was so easy to get through them though while lounging in the relaxed atmosphere of Camden's Proud bar, which I'd never been to before. Great bar though as it's in the old Camden stables, very cool and perfect setting for some afternoon beering.

All of this was topped off with a wholly relaxing Sunday full of film watching (mainly The Guard. Very cool, black comedy film set in Ireland: see it!) and home made pizzas. Winner. Now if there was anyway to pause time for a bit and stave off the inevitable Monday blues, that would be great.

RoseC -x-

Strippers, thongs and full frontal nudity (probably NSFW)

Believe it or not, I only just popped my strip club cherry this weekend. Considering where I used to work and what I used to do, I was surprised too! I've seen strippers before, either at burlesque shows or once at a lesbian club, but had never stepped foot in an actual strip club. Since watching Jessica from Saved By The Bell gyrate around on gentleman's laps in Showgirls, I thought strip clubs would be highly sexed, luxurious places, with gorgeous girls and a titillating air of seduction. My actual opinion of strip clubs now that I've been in one: tasteless.

For me any sort of sexual experience should be fun, but I just didn't feel that vibe at all. Instead it was like everyone was duty-bound to play their roles: the strippers were there to come on to as many guys as they could with their slightly forceful chat up lines and a quick wiggle of their tits in the gentleman's face as a mean to entice them, and then the men were of course supposed to be bowled over and accept the offer of a "special dance" with much gratitude that out of all the men in the club she had picked him. If you reject her and say no though, as my fella did, then you'd be met with a disapproving "tut" that you weren't playing the game and she'd move onto the gentleman stood next to you where you'd hear her repeat the exact same garb that was meant to spark that special connection between you and her.

Seeing that repeat play is what totally highlighted just how unsexy strip clubs are. I'm well aware that they're a business and that the girls are out to make money, but is there any need to be so blatant about it? To the point that it totally takes away the sexy, seductive, fun element of what is supposed to be a sensual experience. Long and short of it, it's really not that hot. I've been packed in a room with a hundred people or more to watch a burlesque show, and I still feel like I had more of a titillating and intimate experience with that performer and the many people in the room, than I did when a pair of strippers came to accost me and the boyfriend.

I felt particularly bad for my boyfriend as he couldn't move two steps without being 'chatted up' by a bare breasted stripper forcing her assets on him. It was his first time in a strip club too and after turning down the third stripper in a row, trying to politely explain that he didn't was a "special dance" he felt guilty. By his own admission he felt he didn't handle it well and took to wrapping his arms around me whenever a stripper with a false look of seduction in her eyes came near him. Bless.

As a fairly liberal girlfriend, I of course didn't mind the girls trying to tempt him away with a dance. He is gorgeous and I even felt a bit flattered that so many of them approached him, (or perhaps it was obvious that he was fresh meat?) but at the same time I felt a bit annoyed or upset because to them he was just another potential punter; a few more quid in their purse if they got him to say yes. Whereas I know he's a lot more than that and I know he shares similar views as me as to what sex should be about. He's special in that way, and would be completely wasted on those women. Even if I do say so myself!

Going there as a couple was interesting too. Only once did we get hit on by a pair of girls, but even then they tried to spilt us up and work us individually. With his arm wrapped firmly around my shoulders and the odd kiss on my head while one of the strippers was talking to him, I very much got the impression that he was anxious, so I put on my best "thanks, but no thanks" face and ushered them along to the next punter, which I think happened to be a very famous male celebrity, who gladly took the girls up on their offer. So it all worked out well in the end.

Strange experience all round really and unfortunately one that has burst a potential fantasy bubble forever!

RoseC -x-

Pickets, protests and no pupils!

I'll keep it short and sweet tonight, because it's been a short and sweet kind of day. Really it's zipped by in the blink of an eye and I've actually been fairly productive.

If you're reading this and living in the UK then you'll be aware that there's been a lot of public sector union strikes today. As I work in the public sector (education) it means that my school was affected. Many, many teachers and support staff decided to strike, creating picket lines outside of the school before heading off into central London to march against Government plans for pension scheme cuts. Put simply, today's strike action was brought on because they want people to work longer for no extra cash to pay into their retirement fund. This is scary because if I was a 12 year old the idea of being taught by someone who's 67 is frightening. Surely you can't still be in touch with young people at that age?

Anyhoo, many people went on strike, meaning that the school was unable to open to pupils, but was still open to non-striking staff, like myself, to come in and work.

This. Was. Bliss.

Obviously it can't be a very good sign if I prefer going to work when the kids aren't there, and it's kind of in my job description to work with young people and educate them, but fuck me, I managed to get sooooo much done! I think I've actually managed to plan a couple of half decent lessons, rather than cobble something together at the last minute. Generally I like to think I have fairly good bull-shitting skills when it comes to being put on the spot, but often the kids see through it and can tell when parts of the lesson are improvised and a bit lastminute.com. Now though, I'm prepared! Photocopying 'n' all!

Hopefully that'll make tomorrow a little bit easier before the end of the week comes and normal, rushed service will resume next Monday.

Oh and if you're wondering why I didn't strike, even though I do empathise with the union's cause, it's because I'm a) not in a union, which is probably bad and b) I don't earn enough to be paying into a fund. If there was something to sign in support though, I would. Not least because I know how demanding teaching is and the thought of doing that until you're nearly 70 is an exhausting idea, but also because David Cameron called the protests a 'wet squib'.

Now there's no need to get personal Mr Cameron and who in their right mind uses the word 'squib' these days? Could you sound any more upper-middle class and pretentious? Could you reaffirm anymore to your public that you're not actually thinking through the whole picture here because when you reach 67 you'll still be well catered for, resting up, and enjoying your overly comfortable retirement nest egg, while others are still having to go and slog their guts out to try to earn a half-decent pension and replace the money you're squandering so they may be able to enjoy those meagre last few golden years with some level of dignity.

So then, do you really think that when two million public sector workers march through the capital it's a good idea to provoke them by saying there will be no change? That these strikes won't be effective? I only hope that all of those union members working in the public sector have the fight and the backbone to see this through, and if it comes down to the wire of unions calling for workers to down tools for a longer period of time to show their worth and determination - reminiscent of the Thatcher strikes - then so be it; I'd support them to see this through.

It wasn't my intention to get all political, mainly because I don't always fully understand cause and reason enough to comment on political matters, but I think that the UK is in such a bad state at the moment - along with the rest of Europe - that something is going to have to break; something will snap and we're seeing it happen all over the world. We saw it happen in the summer riots and we saw more of it today albeit on a more peaceful scale, thankfully.

Uneasy and daunting times ahead.

RoseC -x-

Interactive blogging

So, I know that sometimes it can be effort to read a full-length, intellectual and engaging blog like mine and and then have to think about a witty or insightful comment to leave in response, so I've gone ahead and made a response system even easier for you using quick response boxes. Because I believe blogging can be a form of active media rather than passive, I've put these handy little boxes at the bottom of each post with choice words that you can click to show what you think about a particular blog entry. At the minute they say something like, 'funny', 'whiney', 'interesting' and 'agree'. Simply click one and I'll know what you think of what I've written.

Well, when I say, "I'll know what you've written," that's not strictly true because it's anonymous. So if you're worried that you want to say I'm 'whiney', but fear that I may hunt you down in reprisal, then don't, because it won't show me your name or who's responded. I just thought it might be fun or interesting to see what my global audience reckon about what I'm posting.

Interactive blogging all the way. Let the revolution start here!

Hope to tick-box here from you soon.

RoseC -x-

Frazzled

It's been a frazzling, full on and frustrating sort of day. Sometimes working with young people can be really rewarding and make you think, 'shit yeah this is totally why I enjoy doing this job!' and then there are other times where you feel like you're literally smashing you head against a brick wall and would probably have more fun scooping your eyeballs out with a teaspoon rather than stand up in front of a class of unruly, hormonal teenagers to try and teach them the finer points of English grammar. Today was one of those mixed days...

For example the morning was pretty awesome. There was an overwhelming sense of satisfaction as a year 11 student managed to muddle his way through a presentation with only a maximum of five swear words.

Also, is it wrong to play drum and bass to year sevens? Like, it was nothing hardcore, or offensive, and they were doing posters. I mean it was so totally unoffensive that it was a remix of Adele and she's completely not offensive in anyway in her songs. I'd go so far as to gamble that she'd be a parents' favourite and there'd be nods of approval from parents that I was playing Adele in class, even a remix!

I've found it really useful to put music on in lessons. It works positively in many ways:

1. The kids think they're getting a treat/reward for working well.
2. It fills the horrible silence in my room that comes with only having a small group of three or four, so it maybe doesn't feel as intimidating or pressured for them.
3. I get to control the music and so we only put on song we all agree are good, thus giving us an education in popular culture and good music as well as English.

Although I try to put on classical because it's good to talk over and soothing, the kids complained it's a bit depressing. Sing along pop songs are banned (too excitable) so remixes are the way forward because they're a bit more uplifting and you can't really sing along. Too many jumpy bits (not technical terms). Genius.

Unfortunately the rest of my day was pretty 'meh'. I may have said this before, but I'm sure working with pupils that are literally half my age - or younger in some cases - has aged me. There are some lessons where the whole hour feels like a battle; there's no winning, or loosing this battle, it's stalemate because you know you have a duty to do and no matter how shitty the kids get it's still your job to try and educate the little...argh...darlings.

I'm too young for stress like this - for bags under my eyes, that sick feeling in the morning wondering what's going to kick off next. Can't I still be so young that I cause stress to my parents? *Sigh*

RoseC
-x-

In the company of strangers

These days it's not often that I travel around on public transport thanks to me currently being cycle obsessed. Yesterday though, I had the pleasure of making my way around London on the snaking Tfl system of buses and tubes and honestly I can say that it was indeed a pleasure.

Usually trudging around central London during rush hour is a nightmare, but thanks to the confidence and sociability of two strangers they made my journey an interesting and heart-warming one because they were willing to to be chatty after what could have ended in short, abrupt interactions. Now, I'm not one of these people that tars all Londoners with the same anti-social brush; I've lived in London long enough now to know that if you smile, or nod a 'hello' at someone it's not often that they'll completely ignore you. It may only be a grunt or nod back in acknowledgment, but it's there. I'm not overly surprised at having a chat with these people on the tube and bus, what shocked me was how open and comfortable they felt talking to me.

The first was a young woman - probably also 20-something - in a bright green curly wig and tiara.

Instant thought = nutter.

She looked lost though as she tried to decipher whether she was on the right branch of the District Line; this is a confusion I usually find myself faced with on the DL, so felt her angst. Offering to help her with my handy map I was met with a bit of a frosty, "What? Eh?" and for a split second I thought 'Shit, talking to the crack head in the green wig probably wasn't a good idea, no matter how kind your intentions Rose!'

Turns out she wasn't a crack head and actually really nice (although a bit quirky) and for the next four tube stops we discussed everything from eating etiquette on the tube, whether hummus was pretentious, her friends wasted art studio and that she was wearing a green wig and tiara because she didn't have a bag to put it in and hadn't washed her hair in over a day. Natural answer then is to obviously wear it and solve all the problems in one go. So not a nutter at all; she was just being practical.

My second convo was completely at the other end of the spectrum and came about after a crazy man on the back of the bus started banging around and getting angry, dropping the C bomb all over the place. I'm not completely sure what spurred his anger, but it may have been because he dozed off (think he was high) and missed his stop. He then somehow thought this was the drivers fault so stomped his feet around a lot. Proper London nutter really.

Anyway, it was after this 'chap' got off the bus that I exchanged a glance and sigh of relief with an older, Asian gentleman also on the bus. "Glad he's got off," I said with a smile and comically roll of the eyes.

"Ahh that's nothing, he's just a bit strange. I've been in this city long enough to know there's stranger," he told me and it was from there I knew there was no going back and a convo had been struck up.

It was quite endearing as I basically just sat and listened and was happy to let him talk to me. He told me about when he arrived in London at 18 from a worse place - I didn't dare pry more and ask where or what - that he'd managed to get a job in London but after one day in Hastings got a job up there as a chef and liked it so much decided to move there. He went on to tell me about where he'd worked, the people he'd come across, the tough times with money and housing he'd had when younger and how now he's ended up in London again but would like to move back to Wales where it would be a bit quieter for him.

When I had to ring the bell for my stop he looked truly disappointed that our chat was coming to an end. It's so easy to forget sometimes that there are people in this massive metropolis that ironically have no one to talk to. That they're a bit lonely and they just want to offload, even if it is to a stranger. I find it really endearing and I hope that I have many more journeys when I get to enjoy the company of strangers.

RoseC