Recently the boyfriend and I celebrated the anniversary of when our relationship began. Aww, sweet, I know. We went for dinner. It was lovely and romantic, but it's not dinner I want to talk about; it's presents.
You see, the chap and I have this genius and fun way of doing anniversary gifts that a) keeps the cost down, b) means you don't have to spend hours trawling the shops umming and ahhing about whether something is "right" or not c) it's a lot more fun than just getting them any old cliched gift. We've been doing it for three years, so it's been tried and tested to assure it works, and now I'd like to share it with you.
The game is this: first you both need to agree on a budget. Maybe you'd like to put this into perspective in relation to how long you've been together? For example, in our first year we only agreed to spend a fiver on each other. Well, we had only been together for a year and not that we were wanting to be cynical or anything, but if we had split up I wouldn't be so narked off at having only spent £5 on him.
I don't understand those couples that celebrate three or six month anniversaries and spend hundreds of pounds on each other in order to prove and/or declare their love. Next thing you know, two months later the relationship has fallen apart and people are demanding to have stuff back.
"Well, I spent a trillion pounds on the two and three-quarter week anniversary gift I got you and now I want it back!"
Slight exaggeration there, but you get the picture. Quite why a soon-to-be ex would want the gifts back I don't know. Spite? To regift? Anyway, agreeing a lower budget when you first start out takes all this crap away and then you can obviously increase it year on year.
Like I said, we started with no more than a fiver on each other. Three years down the line we're up to only £15 on gifts. Not only does this mean we're not spending a stupid amount of money on each other, but it means that the money we do earn/save can go towards a nicer, shared experience instead. Often we spend it on an exceptionally fancy dinner and a good bottle of wine in a restaurant we wouldn't usually be able to afford to go to. Much more practical.
The other rule with the money thing is that under no circumstances are you allowed to go over budget. You can go under budget, but if you go even a penny or two over then shame on you, you ruined the challenge. This leads me nicely onto the second part of the game...
Pick a shop/store/website/goods outlet that reflects your budget. There's no point saying you only have a fiver to spend and deciding it has to be something from Selfridges. That's chuffing stupid. After all, it is your anniversary, so you want to get something at least a little bit decent, not just any old tat.
For example, for our first year celebrations we picked Argos as our shop of choice. A fiver can go a long way there, so it seemed like a sensible outlet and there's lots to choose from. I got a frozen beer cooler jacket (I drink a lot of beer) and he got a bedside lamp (he needed a lamp). Granted, they're not the most romantic gifts, but that's sort of the point as well; it forces you to put a little bit more thought into what you think you're partner will appreciate, but takes away the bullshit of going over the top. It also makes for a good conversation point and can be stupidly funny.
Since then we've done £10 from Amazon and £15 from Camden Market - the main market by the station, not the whole town as a market. Next year we're doing £20 and it has to be something from a charity shop (any charity shop in London), which should be interesting as it will be so pot luck as to what's in there!
So, there you have it. A sure-fire way to add a fun, interesting and true element of surprise when it comes to buying anniversary gifts. No more tacky, 'romantic' From Me To You bear gifts around here.
Enjoy,
Rose -x-
If you choose to use/repost this idea, that's cool, but drop me a line to let me know how it goes or give a link to my blog and original post :-) -x-
Wednesday, 20 March 2013
Monday, 11 March 2013
My sex revolution...is on hold.
"There once was a little sausage called Baldrick..."
This is how my boyfriend suggested I started my blog today and I suppose that speaks volumes about where my head is at in terms of writing. Faced with a blank page I honestly couldn't think where to start or what to put down.
It's not that I'm suffering a bout of writers block. On the contrary, I was up last night until 1am furiously scribbling down amazing, revolutionary sex feature ideas and potential topics for my column. Turning my brain off and managing to fall asleep took real effort. Not even my favourite method of, er, a bit of quality "me time", was able to send me to the land of nod.
Anyway, this morning although I felt a bit bleary eyed, I was ready to go. I was ready to take on my next load of sex features and had plenty of new ones I was ready to pitch. Sex world, prepare yourself for a revolution and my fingers are itching to write it!
The problem though is that freelancing, pitching and getting commissioned takes time. A lot of time.
*Sigh*
Granted, this isn't news to me, I'm just feeling all enthusiastic and like I've got a lot to say, but no where to put it at the moment. Think this was mostly spurred on last week when I met a lot of interesting, sex industry related people. Writers, kinksters, swingers, mag editors. I'm just feeling "meh" today because I want EVERYTHING to happen now.
Guess I'm just having one of those days where creativity and patience refuse to go hand in hand.
This is how my boyfriend suggested I started my blog today and I suppose that speaks volumes about where my head is at in terms of writing. Faced with a blank page I honestly couldn't think where to start or what to put down.
It's not that I'm suffering a bout of writers block. On the contrary, I was up last night until 1am furiously scribbling down amazing, revolutionary sex feature ideas and potential topics for my column. Turning my brain off and managing to fall asleep took real effort. Not even my favourite method of, er, a bit of quality "me time", was able to send me to the land of nod.
Anyway, this morning although I felt a bit bleary eyed, I was ready to go. I was ready to take on my next load of sex features and had plenty of new ones I was ready to pitch. Sex world, prepare yourself for a revolution and my fingers are itching to write it!
The problem though is that freelancing, pitching and getting commissioned takes time. A lot of time.
*Sigh*
Granted, this isn't news to me, I'm just feeling all enthusiastic and like I've got a lot to say, but no where to put it at the moment. Think this was mostly spurred on last week when I met a lot of interesting, sex industry related people. Writers, kinksters, swingers, mag editors. I'm just feeling "meh" today because I want EVERYTHING to happen now.
Guess I'm just having one of those days where creativity and patience refuse to go hand in hand.
Tuesday, 26 February 2013
Further [sex] Reading
It's funny how a series of events all come along at once, that are so perfectly linked. Following on from my last blog post, Sex Education, I've come across a couple of other articles and events that tie into it nicely and further highlight the importance of writing sex right.
The day after my original post I attended a Critical Sexology talk held at Queen Mary University, London. The theme of the lecture was Sex and Pedagogy. Unfortunately, I was only able to stay for the first two speakers as other deadlines and work commitments meant I couldn't go for the whole afternoon.
The first talk was titled, “More than Words? Erotica, Sex Education and Responsibility: How Adult Media Can Provide Adult Advice” Massively interesting; in brief it discussed how far do the materials adults use for sexual satisfaction (erotica, porn, magazines), and in some cases inspiration, need to include particular messages to promote greater sexual awareness and how can it be used positively to further adults sexual education. Although I haven't got access to the lecture, the chair of the event was tweeting, so you can get a fair idea here and I strongly encourage you to take a look and have a read.
The second talk was at the other end of the spectrum and looked at how sex education is received by young people. Again, all the tweet links are here so you can look into it. What struck me about this talk was a model sex educator Jen Hazel, was putting out there that in the UK we still teach sex ed on quite an archaic model working on the basis of what's considered "normal" and what's "other". For example, being heterosexual is "normal", therefore most sex ed for young people will be taught from this p.o.v. Other sexualities such as gay, bi, asexual may be touched on, but would fall under the "other" category.
What Hazel suggests is finding a common starting ground for sex, something that everyone will at some point experience and then branching out the education to fulfil the needs of the audience you're dealing with. She called it an 'Inclusive Pedagogy' - I think from what I remember - and means that you start with shared experiences and then work outwards to cover all angles. I'm doing a really bad job of explaining this so briefly, but I don't want this post to get bogged down with me regurgitating the whole lecture. Seriously, read the Tweets.
Ok, so this then links in with another blog article I came across and about how in the media we're still getting it so wrong and looking at furthering our sex education in a sensationalist manner, rather than a positive or practical one. Rewriting The Rules discusses how we're still framing important debates around sex and sexuality in a very narrow minded manner and asking the wrong questions.
Finally, if this has in any way tickled your fancy and you're starting to question whether the sex ed you're reading is good for you or not, or you're a writer in the media and concerned that you're not doing sex writing justice, there are a couple of upcoming events you may enjoy/benefit from.
The first is Eroticon 2013. This is all about 'writing sex right' and ideal for anyone from amateur sex bloggers to sex researchers and professional authors. Short notice, but it's taking place this weekend (March 2-3) in London.
The second is another, new, lecture evening on March 17th called 'Birds, Bees, Please' and has been organised by adult performer Johnny Anglais. I urge you to find it on FB by doing a quick search of the title as it's set to be a really interesting evening of sex positive talks from professionals across the sex industry.
Phew, right, I think that's it. Hope you find some of this useful. I certainly have and am only just realising how much of a questionable impact some of the material out there is having on the sexual progression of adults. Sex ed certainly DOES NOT end at high school.
The day after my original post I attended a Critical Sexology talk held at Queen Mary University, London. The theme of the lecture was Sex and Pedagogy. Unfortunately, I was only able to stay for the first two speakers as other deadlines and work commitments meant I couldn't go for the whole afternoon.
The first talk was titled, “More than Words? Erotica, Sex Education and Responsibility: How Adult Media Can Provide Adult Advice” Massively interesting; in brief it discussed how far do the materials adults use for sexual satisfaction (erotica, porn, magazines), and in some cases inspiration, need to include particular messages to promote greater sexual awareness and how can it be used positively to further adults sexual education. Although I haven't got access to the lecture, the chair of the event was tweeting, so you can get a fair idea here and I strongly encourage you to take a look and have a read.
The second talk was at the other end of the spectrum and looked at how sex education is received by young people. Again, all the tweet links are here so you can look into it. What struck me about this talk was a model sex educator Jen Hazel, was putting out there that in the UK we still teach sex ed on quite an archaic model working on the basis of what's considered "normal" and what's "other". For example, being heterosexual is "normal", therefore most sex ed for young people will be taught from this p.o.v. Other sexualities such as gay, bi, asexual may be touched on, but would fall under the "other" category.
What Hazel suggests is finding a common starting ground for sex, something that everyone will at some point experience and then branching out the education to fulfil the needs of the audience you're dealing with. She called it an 'Inclusive Pedagogy' - I think from what I remember - and means that you start with shared experiences and then work outwards to cover all angles. I'm doing a really bad job of explaining this so briefly, but I don't want this post to get bogged down with me regurgitating the whole lecture. Seriously, read the Tweets.
Ok, so this then links in with another blog article I came across and about how in the media we're still getting it so wrong and looking at furthering our sex education in a sensationalist manner, rather than a positive or practical one. Rewriting The Rules discusses how we're still framing important debates around sex and sexuality in a very narrow minded manner and asking the wrong questions.
Finally, if this has in any way tickled your fancy and you're starting to question whether the sex ed you're reading is good for you or not, or you're a writer in the media and concerned that you're not doing sex writing justice, there are a couple of upcoming events you may enjoy/benefit from.
The first is Eroticon 2013. This is all about 'writing sex right' and ideal for anyone from amateur sex bloggers to sex researchers and professional authors. Short notice, but it's taking place this weekend (March 2-3) in London.
The second is another, new, lecture evening on March 17th called 'Birds, Bees, Please' and has been organised by adult performer Johnny Anglais. I urge you to find it on FB by doing a quick search of the title as it's set to be a really interesting evening of sex positive talks from professionals across the sex industry.
Phew, right, I think that's it. Hope you find some of this useful. I certainly have and am only just realising how much of a questionable impact some of the material out there is having on the sexual progression of adults. Sex ed certainly DOES NOT end at high school.
Thursday, 21 February 2013
Sex Education
I'm a great believer that sex education doesn't stop when you leave school. Biology, sociology or personal development - if that's what they're calling it these days - can teach a lot of the basics, but it's not until you're a consenting adult and actually putting sex into practise that you really get to grasp the whole 'what goes where?' and 'what happens if?...Oh, that's happens, right'. Not to mention the intricacies of sexual relationships; the workings of those are often more complicated than the act itself. There's just some stuff that you can't learn in a classroom, or you definitely wouldn't want to hear from a teacher.
Having said that, even when you've been doing it for years, practise still doesn't make perfect. Many couples, myself and my relationship included, look to more adult teachers, professional sex educators and what we read in books, online, in magazines and newspapers. Inspiration is everywhere, but what if what we're reading is an archaic message and is actually doing more damage than good to our sexual relationships?
What really spurred this post was a great column by Tracey Cox, titled 'He can't tell if you're faking it after all! Tracey Cox bursts eight bedroom myths.' What I really enjoyed about this article was it's honesty that sex has moved on. By her own admission she writes, 'I've written a lot of sex books over the years and given a lot of advice. Most of it, I still standby 20 years on. But there's been an enormous amount of research into sex since I started out and we understand more about our sexual systems and responses now, than we ever have. This means original theories need to be reconsidered - and maybe completely rethought.'
Tracey then goes on to critique and correct dated theories and sex advice - like how to tell if your wife or girlfriend has come, or how much time we should spend having sex - that is still 'doled out' constantly, I assume she means mainly by the media. At least that's how I would read it.
It's refreshing to hear a 'sexpert', for lack of a better word, admit all this. For a long time I've thought there are still so many outlets that preach and regurgitate old advice, because it's safe and unimposing on readers. All they do is try to find a slightly different slant on it, usually by throwing an extra taboo word in there, or more recently, just adding handcuffs and a whip seems to be the order of the day.
How we do 'it', who and how we form relationships with sexual partners and the acts we perform with them are constantly changing and so should the adult sex education messages that these platforms present to us. I just wonder if they should be a bit more careful in what they put out and that they take on board the changing attitudes both men and women have towards sex.
One magazine hasn't really changed their message in their long old history of publication. I know this from having read every sex article published (hurrah British Library) and still their message is the same: know how to please your man. "Fuck fun, fuck your pleasure - oh, no, wait, we can't say that, because women are actually admitting they like sex these days - ok in that case, yay to female pleasure, but it still has to be the passenger during this ride."
It actually scares and angers me that there's still such a desperation to understand men and how sex works for them that, actually, we're forgetting about our own pleasure, or we have to come up with tactics in order to really get what we want. How in any way is this promoting sex positively, or encouraging couples to explore new things, or tackle obstacles they may be having? Personally, I think it instills a sense of fear and pressure.
At this point the best sex tip I can offer is to just ask him for it. You might not get it straight away, but hey, least you put it out there.
It's not just magazines that deliver mixed sex ed messages, it's sex manuals as well. Imparting advice they think is wise, but actually end up preaching in a manner that can leave readers with more of a feeling that their sex life is inadequate.
There's an endless number of these 'Improve Your Sex Life NOW', type titles out there, I have a dick load of them on my own personal shelf. Not all of them are bad, some are actually really interesting, well thought out, up to date in their advice and research, practical and inspiring. Often if I'm considering trying something new, my books are where I go to learn.
At the moment, if you're interested, I'm reading a great book called How To Be Kinkier, which has opened my eyes to the dynamics of Dom/sub relationships, all they entail and how to approach more sensitive kink practises. There's also loads of really fast tips and ideas throughout the book. I'm actually learning something and extending my understanding in an area of sex that's previously been unfamiliar to me. Hell, at the end of it, I might even try some of it.
Anyway, I digress, this isn't a book review, I just wanted to give an example of a text that is well written, informative and sexually thought provoking. I want to make it clear that I'm not hating on all sex manuals, but I do fear that a lot of these books all look and sound very similar. They suggest similar tactics from cover to cover:
The above is a generalisation, but if you've read even a handful, you'll know what I'm getting at. Usually, they're written by people that don't work in the sex industry, aren't themselves educated in sex and adult relationships and are just jumping on a Sex And The City style bandwagon thinking that anyone under the sun can write good sex.
they can't. Some of the suggestions are wholly ridiculous and impractical to the point that no one is ever going to try them, but the problem is that sex writers/educators are so pressured to reinvent sex in more exciting ways to keep it "new" that it ends up going down the impossible route, just to try and make it more interesting and give it that edge.
I know this, because I've been there. Don't worry, the hypocrisy of some of this isn't lost on me, having written a sex advice feature or two of my own. I know how exciting it is to be able to suggest something amazingly, wildly, animalistically new, but know really that less than 1 percent of my readers will ever actually try it.
However, I write these things, other sex writers that are much better versed that I write these things and for the readers they're left with a whole heap of ideas that they'll probably never implement in their actual sex lives and will leave them wondering if they're having good sex at all because they can't practically do these thing, or if they're "doing it right" compared to everyone else.
I'm of the opinion that even though there is so much information out there, and we're better versed on sex research than we ever have been before, that actually we don't know what to do with it? We're adding pressure and stress to ourselves for fear of missing out on "good sex". The sex education we sought out to help us is actually hindering our pleasure, as we try to orgasm while in impossible positions, or withstand a flogging because we read it in a book and it's "kinky fun".
There certainly is a place for all of the books, reports, stories, news articles and research and they should play a part in furthering our sex education. However, it shouldn't form the basis, or be read as gospel, for your sex life. Take or leave whatever works for you and your partner, use it as a starting point for further inspiration. Bottom line is the best way to learn is from each other. Everything else is just an added extra.
Having said that, even when you've been doing it for years, practise still doesn't make perfect. Many couples, myself and my relationship included, look to more adult teachers, professional sex educators and what we read in books, online, in magazines and newspapers. Inspiration is everywhere, but what if what we're reading is an archaic message and is actually doing more damage than good to our sexual relationships?
What really spurred this post was a great column by Tracey Cox, titled 'He can't tell if you're faking it after all! Tracey Cox bursts eight bedroom myths.' What I really enjoyed about this article was it's honesty that sex has moved on. By her own admission she writes, 'I've written a lot of sex books over the years and given a lot of advice. Most of it, I still standby 20 years on. But there's been an enormous amount of research into sex since I started out and we understand more about our sexual systems and responses now, than we ever have. This means original theories need to be reconsidered - and maybe completely rethought.'
Tracey then goes on to critique and correct dated theories and sex advice - like how to tell if your wife or girlfriend has come, or how much time we should spend having sex - that is still 'doled out' constantly, I assume she means mainly by the media. At least that's how I would read it.
It's refreshing to hear a 'sexpert', for lack of a better word, admit all this. For a long time I've thought there are still so many outlets that preach and regurgitate old advice, because it's safe and unimposing on readers. All they do is try to find a slightly different slant on it, usually by throwing an extra taboo word in there, or more recently, just adding handcuffs and a whip seems to be the order of the day.
How we do 'it', who and how we form relationships with sexual partners and the acts we perform with them are constantly changing and so should the adult sex education messages that these platforms present to us. I just wonder if they should be a bit more careful in what they put out and that they take on board the changing attitudes both men and women have towards sex.
One magazine hasn't really changed their message in their long old history of publication. I know this from having read every sex article published (hurrah British Library) and still their message is the same: know how to please your man. "Fuck fun, fuck your pleasure - oh, no, wait, we can't say that, because women are actually admitting they like sex these days - ok in that case, yay to female pleasure, but it still has to be the passenger during this ride."
It actually scares and angers me that there's still such a desperation to understand men and how sex works for them that, actually, we're forgetting about our own pleasure, or we have to come up with tactics in order to really get what we want. How in any way is this promoting sex positively, or encouraging couples to explore new things, or tackle obstacles they may be having? Personally, I think it instills a sense of fear and pressure.
At this point the best sex tip I can offer is to just ask him for it. You might not get it straight away, but hey, least you put it out there.
It's not just magazines that deliver mixed sex ed messages, it's sex manuals as well. Imparting advice they think is wise, but actually end up preaching in a manner that can leave readers with more of a feeling that their sex life is inadequate.
There's an endless number of these 'Improve Your Sex Life NOW', type titles out there, I have a dick load of them on my own personal shelf. Not all of them are bad, some are actually really interesting, well thought out, up to date in their advice and research, practical and inspiring. Often if I'm considering trying something new, my books are where I go to learn.
At the moment, if you're interested, I'm reading a great book called How To Be Kinkier, which has opened my eyes to the dynamics of Dom/sub relationships, all they entail and how to approach more sensitive kink practises. There's also loads of really fast tips and ideas throughout the book. I'm actually learning something and extending my understanding in an area of sex that's previously been unfamiliar to me. Hell, at the end of it, I might even try some of it.
Anyway, I digress, this isn't a book review, I just wanted to give an example of a text that is well written, informative and sexually thought provoking. I want to make it clear that I'm not hating on all sex manuals, but I do fear that a lot of these books all look and sound very similar. They suggest similar tactics from cover to cover:
- Do something different, dress up sexy and do a strip tease for your lover.
- Reignite that flame by trying out some roleplay and living out your naughtiest fantasies.
- Missionary is so last season. Instead try throwing her over your shoulder while you lick her from behind, kiss her neck and play with her nipples, but you must keep telling her how much you love her to reassure her and affirm your feelings while you're in such an intimate position.
The above is a generalisation, but if you've read even a handful, you'll know what I'm getting at. Usually, they're written by people that don't work in the sex industry, aren't themselves educated in sex and adult relationships and are just jumping on a Sex And The City style bandwagon thinking that anyone under the sun can write good sex.
they can't. Some of the suggestions are wholly ridiculous and impractical to the point that no one is ever going to try them, but the problem is that sex writers/educators are so pressured to reinvent sex in more exciting ways to keep it "new" that it ends up going down the impossible route, just to try and make it more interesting and give it that edge.
I know this, because I've been there. Don't worry, the hypocrisy of some of this isn't lost on me, having written a sex advice feature or two of my own. I know how exciting it is to be able to suggest something amazingly, wildly, animalistically new, but know really that less than 1 percent of my readers will ever actually try it.
However, I write these things, other sex writers that are much better versed that I write these things and for the readers they're left with a whole heap of ideas that they'll probably never implement in their actual sex lives and will leave them wondering if they're having good sex at all because they can't practically do these thing, or if they're "doing it right" compared to everyone else.
I'm of the opinion that even though there is so much information out there, and we're better versed on sex research than we ever have been before, that actually we don't know what to do with it? We're adding pressure and stress to ourselves for fear of missing out on "good sex". The sex education we sought out to help us is actually hindering our pleasure, as we try to orgasm while in impossible positions, or withstand a flogging because we read it in a book and it's "kinky fun".
There certainly is a place for all of the books, reports, stories, news articles and research and they should play a part in furthering our sex education. However, it shouldn't form the basis, or be read as gospel, for your sex life. Take or leave whatever works for you and your partner, use it as a starting point for further inspiration. Bottom line is the best way to learn is from each other. Everything else is just an added extra.
Sunday, 10 February 2013
Boss's Annual Review
There's something worth celebrating this month: my business, 'Straight Out Of Crompton', is a year old!
Officially I've been self-employed as a freelance journalist for a whole year. How exciting, especially because I can count myself as one of the 200,000 that registered as self-employed in 2011/2012 and said a big "Fuck You" to the system and recession. That's as far as I can relate to the stats though, as I definitely don't fall into the age bracket they're talking about...nor do I look it! (Yeah, I know you were thinking it.)
To celebrate the 1 year anniversary I had an extra glass of red wine at the end of the day. Unfortunately the boss said I couldn't bring cake into the (home) office for fear of getting sticky fingers and making a mess of my laptop keyboard. She tells me that even though 2013 so far has been a productive year, company funds are still not able to support the costs of technical repair work should anything go wrong with the laptop due to cake damage.
Really though, I set this blog up as a place to document how easy or hard it would be to go it alone in business, or more specifically journalism, because to be honest the other job options and lack there of that were presenting themselves left me feeling little more than despair.
So, a year on and am I better off? Yes, mentally I think I am. Panic attacks and the dread of getting out of bed to go to a job that seriously sucked arse are signs of days long gone. I actually enjoy getting up at 7:30am, putting on the coffee and sitting down to my desk. I feel, dare I say, "professional".
Oh, wait, you meant better off in a monetary way? Well, all I'll say is it's probably best to wait another year before you talk to my accountant about how profitable it is to be a freelance journalist.
I do seem to be getting better with this whole getting work = more money thing though. All I'm saying is bollocks to any superstition about 2013 being the year of bad luck, because so far I've managed to score two new monthly commissions - one of which sees me getting my own column, so I can properly call myself a columnist which is mega exciting and professional - and I have on my plate the chance of four regular days work that will pay me an annual salary and progress my skill set in journalistic techniques I've so far not touched!
This is good, stuff is coming together, so I suppose what I'm trying to say to any HMV workers out there that may be reading this, is that perhaps taking the jump, going self-employed and picking to do something you love isn't so scary after all.
A year on and I'm not living off just beans on toast. Result.
-x-
Officially I've been self-employed as a freelance journalist for a whole year. How exciting, especially because I can count myself as one of the 200,000 that registered as self-employed in 2011/2012 and said a big "Fuck You" to the system and recession. That's as far as I can relate to the stats though, as I definitely don't fall into the age bracket they're talking about...nor do I look it! (Yeah, I know you were thinking it.)
To celebrate the 1 year anniversary I had an extra glass of red wine at the end of the day. Unfortunately the boss said I couldn't bring cake into the (home) office for fear of getting sticky fingers and making a mess of my laptop keyboard. She tells me that even though 2013 so far has been a productive year, company funds are still not able to support the costs of technical repair work should anything go wrong with the laptop due to cake damage.
Really though, I set this blog up as a place to document how easy or hard it would be to go it alone in business, or more specifically journalism, because to be honest the other job options and lack there of that were presenting themselves left me feeling little more than despair.
So, a year on and am I better off? Yes, mentally I think I am. Panic attacks and the dread of getting out of bed to go to a job that seriously sucked arse are signs of days long gone. I actually enjoy getting up at 7:30am, putting on the coffee and sitting down to my desk. I feel, dare I say, "professional".
Oh, wait, you meant better off in a monetary way? Well, all I'll say is it's probably best to wait another year before you talk to my accountant about how profitable it is to be a freelance journalist.
I do seem to be getting better with this whole getting work = more money thing though. All I'm saying is bollocks to any superstition about 2013 being the year of bad luck, because so far I've managed to score two new monthly commissions - one of which sees me getting my own column, so I can properly call myself a columnist which is mega exciting and professional - and I have on my plate the chance of four regular days work that will pay me an annual salary and progress my skill set in journalistic techniques I've so far not touched!
This is good, stuff is coming together, so I suppose what I'm trying to say to any HMV workers out there that may be reading this, is that perhaps taking the jump, going self-employed and picking to do something you love isn't so scary after all.
A year on and I'm not living off just beans on toast. Result.
-x-
Thursday, 24 January 2013
Notebooks. No, not the gizmoey kind.
As a journalist it is imperative that you always have a notebook to hand. You never know when that amazing, rare brainwave for an awesome feature might hit, or that big news breaking story that will propel you into the stratosphere of media fantasticness. I am still waiting for both of these things to happen on a regular basis, which is why I have several notebooks strategically positioned so I'm prepared at any given moment.
Thinking about it, I do have a lot of notebooks, but each one has a different role and I use it for a different purpose. They are as follows:
There was a time when I only ever had one notebook, which was my diary. I'd write in it everyday, but then I guess life starts to demand more and more so keeping order of it all invariably means adding to the clan. Understandably, you wouldn't want to pen your inner most thoughts next to a list of groceries. Sort of detracts from the importance of it really.
Anyway, between these many notebooks I somehow manage to organise myself and it's funny how it's gone from that one diary, in which I used to organise my thoughts, to being sprawled out everywhere.
There was a time when I only had one Internet, computer, social profile too. I think the first ever one I signed up to was on Freeserve chat. Is Freeserve still even a company? Well, whatever, in order to organise my online life now, I have Twitter, Facebook, Blogger (thanks for stopping by, by the way), two email addresses so an MSN identity too, Gmail or GooglePlus account, I believe I have a LinkedIn as well but I'll be damned if I know how to figure that out and I haven't even got round to understanding what Pintrest is. However, for me, more recently I have started to jot in a new electronic notebook:
http://www.rosemcrompton.com
That's right, I now have my own freakin' website with my name in it.
Now, you may be thinking, "what point are you trying to make here Rose?" Well, it's a simple one: on scale I think it's safe to say that in comparison to how I spread myself all over the Internet, it makes my crazy obsession with notebooks look pretty damn tame. Also, I just really needed to get a post in here bigging up http://www.rosemcrompton.com and this seemed like the simplest way to do it.
If you feel duped, I'm sorry. When I first thought of doing this post there was some profound connection I made and thought, "shit yeah! That'll make for a really poignant post and be a great way to tell people about my new portfolio site http://www.rosemcrompton.com "
I've slept, twice, since I had that original idea though. Sorry. But, hey, you know. All's not lost! At least now you know about my site, right?
Rose -x-
Thinking about it, I do have a lot of notebooks, but each one has a different role and I use it for a different purpose. They are as follows:
- Handbag notebook - for shopping lists or jotting down notes when out.
- By the bed notebook - for quickly writing down randomly brilliant ideas I have when half asleep in bed, or when I wake up in the morning.
- On the desk list notebook - this little fellow is an A5 size pad and is simply used for making my 'list of the day' or taking notes when I'm on the phone. This notebook did actually used to be my autograph notebook and contains the signatures of Simon Pegg, Jessica Haynes (then Stevenson) and Edgar Wright. For this reason it's very valuable, but I went through a severe dry patch of meeting celebs and so now it's a list notebook.
- Feature pad - possibly the most important of all. A4, lined note pad, upon which I plan, sketch, jot out, draft all of my features/writings so I have some physical sense of what I'm actually doing/writing about.
- My diary - yes, I do keep a physical paper diary and have done ever since I was a child. This is obviously the most important of all my notebooks.
There was a time when I only ever had one notebook, which was my diary. I'd write in it everyday, but then I guess life starts to demand more and more so keeping order of it all invariably means adding to the clan. Understandably, you wouldn't want to pen your inner most thoughts next to a list of groceries. Sort of detracts from the importance of it really.
Anyway, between these many notebooks I somehow manage to organise myself and it's funny how it's gone from that one diary, in which I used to organise my thoughts, to being sprawled out everywhere.
There was a time when I only had one Internet, computer, social profile too. I think the first ever one I signed up to was on Freeserve chat. Is Freeserve still even a company? Well, whatever, in order to organise my online life now, I have Twitter, Facebook, Blogger (thanks for stopping by, by the way), two email addresses so an MSN identity too, Gmail or GooglePlus account, I believe I have a LinkedIn as well but I'll be damned if I know how to figure that out and I haven't even got round to understanding what Pintrest is. However, for me, more recently I have started to jot in a new electronic notebook:
http://www.rosemcrompton.com
That's right, I now have my own freakin' website with my name in it.
Now, you may be thinking, "what point are you trying to make here Rose?" Well, it's a simple one: on scale I think it's safe to say that in comparison to how I spread myself all over the Internet, it makes my crazy obsession with notebooks look pretty damn tame. Also, I just really needed to get a post in here bigging up http://www.rosemcrompton.com and this seemed like the simplest way to do it.
If you feel duped, I'm sorry. When I first thought of doing this post there was some profound connection I made and thought, "shit yeah! That'll make for a really poignant post and be a great way to tell people about my new portfolio site http://www.rosemcrompton.com "
I've slept, twice, since I had that original idea though. Sorry. But, hey, you know. All's not lost! At least now you know about my site, right?
Rose -x-
Thursday, 10 January 2013
4 Crap Holiday Truths (because there always has to be a downside)
1. Pre-holiday cleaning
Despite the fact you're going away for a week or two, the urge to clean your house before you leave is overwhelming. As if you don't have enough to sort out already. The reasoning behind this is beyond me, but it's undeniable that as you pack up your things the need to leave the house spotless even though you're not going to be living in it for a fortnight and therefore can't enjoy the fruits of your labour, is a pre-holiday duty that's hard to leave off the 'to-do list'. By the time you get home the dust bunnies will have returned again anyway.
2. Be a fashion disaster
Again, this is a pre-holiday bug-bear that can cause all sorts of strife, but it's fact that the week before you go away your clothing options are cut by 90 percent because you need to keep everything clean for when you go away. "Oh, I can't wear that because it means I'll have to wash it again before holiday." This means that public social engagements prior departure must be limited so you don't have to showcase the dregs of your wardrobe.
3. Not wearing socks
Being away on holiday in a hot climate means that socks can firmly remain in the draw. This is a good thing and not what makes it a crap holiday aspect; it's the fact that you get to loving not wearing socks as you don your sandals and flip-flops around the beach resort. Gone is the sweaty foot problem and your feet actually get to feel sand and the air, so they look less ugly.
The problem arises when you come home and have to slip back into your boots and trainers. Once again socks are needed so you resign yourself to wearing them, which in turn means washing them, which in turn means pairing them and we all know that is one of the most boring jobs in the world.
4. Printing photos
While you're away you get to experience tons of amazing things that you never get to try at home, so the urgency to capture every event on film is paramount. The problem is when you get home and realise that you HAVE TO PRINT THEM ALL - an expensive task -, because obviously every moment on that holiday was just as important as the other.
There's no way you can say that the photo of you bungee jumping off a bridge or hugging a koala was any more life defining than the photo of you sitting in a random bar you can't remember the name of, drinking a universally loved Bacardi and Coke looking sunburnt to within an inch of your life. It would be photo descrimination not to get the latter printed too, regardless of the fact that you won't remember a thing about when, where or why it was taken when you look back at it a month later.
Despite the fact you're going away for a week or two, the urge to clean your house before you leave is overwhelming. As if you don't have enough to sort out already. The reasoning behind this is beyond me, but it's undeniable that as you pack up your things the need to leave the house spotless even though you're not going to be living in it for a fortnight and therefore can't enjoy the fruits of your labour, is a pre-holiday duty that's hard to leave off the 'to-do list'. By the time you get home the dust bunnies will have returned again anyway.
2. Be a fashion disaster
Again, this is a pre-holiday bug-bear that can cause all sorts of strife, but it's fact that the week before you go away your clothing options are cut by 90 percent because you need to keep everything clean for when you go away. "Oh, I can't wear that because it means I'll have to wash it again before holiday." This means that public social engagements prior departure must be limited so you don't have to showcase the dregs of your wardrobe.
3. Not wearing socks
Being away on holiday in a hot climate means that socks can firmly remain in the draw. This is a good thing and not what makes it a crap holiday aspect; it's the fact that you get to loving not wearing socks as you don your sandals and flip-flops around the beach resort. Gone is the sweaty foot problem and your feet actually get to feel sand and the air, so they look less ugly.
The problem arises when you come home and have to slip back into your boots and trainers. Once again socks are needed so you resign yourself to wearing them, which in turn means washing them, which in turn means pairing them and we all know that is one of the most boring jobs in the world.
4. Printing photos
While you're away you get to experience tons of amazing things that you never get to try at home, so the urgency to capture every event on film is paramount. The problem is when you get home and realise that you HAVE TO PRINT THEM ALL - an expensive task -, because obviously every moment on that holiday was just as important as the other.
There's no way you can say that the photo of you bungee jumping off a bridge or hugging a koala was any more life defining than the photo of you sitting in a random bar you can't remember the name of, drinking a universally loved Bacardi and Coke looking sunburnt to within an inch of your life. It would be photo descrimination not to get the latter printed too, regardless of the fact that you won't remember a thing about when, where or why it was taken when you look back at it a month later.
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